I love hanging out with my friends because outfits

Thoughts on female friendship (and 30 outfits for you to wear while being in it)

My maternal grandmother was one of nine siblings. She had six sisters and then went on to have four daughters herself.

My mom was only five when she left Tehran for Israel but when I think of how deeply I cherish my friends and really, all of the women who orbit around me, I am sure that this quality is one of the most Persian things about me.

I don’t know it with words, but I feel it so deeply when R tells me she’s taking up sculpture. J’s not gonna drink anymore. K won’t back down from Jesus, A’s starting her own thing. C shut down a bad date, Y sold 30 pants in ten minutes! And T had great sex last night.

There’s a sisterhood implied in real friendship. It’s a durable bond that’s not easily broken even when it gets tangled in the active wires of hurt we twirl around each other when we are feeling: rejected, afraid, insecure, desperate.

Every time we talk shit to fill gaps of silence, to regain power when we think we are threatened. To posture in-ness when we feel like we’re outside.

This — talking shit — is the most prevalent way we turn on each other. But under it is this hard-to-face truth that actually, we’ve turned on ourselves. That a split has formed and we don’t want to know it so in an act of benevolence, we reach for the bond because gossip fortifies intimacy.

It’s taken me long to recognize that every time I feel alienated or I alienate, there is pain that wants to be seen underneath. A split that has caused separation. The shame of which is dispelled when I see that further down from the pain is a pure, almost mystical yearning for the bond of womanhood.

There’s an ecstasy about female camaraderie. A force and a power, an unnameable depth. This is the part that is Persian in me. The fight to feel into its reaches through: the ways we turn on ourselves, the ways we can find each other even in separation and the grace of learning we can have ourselves back.

The celebration that comes with that.

Hunting Season clutch, By Malene Birger belt, Spolia bolero, Carolina Bucci and Rhys Kelly rings

A range of things from Vertigo, Marisa Klass and Mark Henry

It’s represented by the seemingly hollow, powerfully gilded adornments I wear on my arms and my neck and on my fingers and sometimes across my head.

A strand of pearls tied into my hair, with Moussy jeans and a cropped tweed jacket

To make a life that is deep and rich is to follow the whims that feel warm. When a whim feels warm is in fact an intuitive blast you can heed.

It’s the Persian in me who wants to connect over hemlines and sequins and tassels on bags, cabochon stones vs those brilliantly cut. It’s to search for the light under the darkness,

to share it once you have found it,

and to rejoice in the most gorgeous kind of communion,

within the bond of the sisterhood.

The thing about being: a daughter, a mother, a sister, a friend, a girl, a woman — all of it, is that we each come with a unique set of matches, functional only to the experience of another woman. And in some ways, I think we have to light each other on fire to learn how to actually use our matches, to learn that we can also light each other up.

Once we know how to wield the light we make, all that was hidden becomes visible, and we can see in plain view that this — our bond — is our most precious connection. The Persian in me gets dressed to honor that.

By Malene Birger jacket, Beaufille dress, Khaite sandals (as far as silhouette, I’m a big fan of these brown satin strappies from Emme Parsons as a more refined alt)

It’s activism, a will to transmute pain, find pleasure and peace and beauty no matter the severity of the wire of hurt that twirls underground. It’s to swim softly into the wave of our camaraderie.

This post was called I love hanging out with my friends because outfits but in fact what I mean is that I love outfits because hanging out with my friends. Ideas for the next time you’re in the coven —

DVF jumpsuit (mine’s a size small), Le Sundial necklace, Phoebe Philo shoes; these are a rock solid alternative (for $250!) or maybe you go more refined thong wedge with this in brown suede or leather

Dries van Noten embellished scarf, All III tank, Khaite belt (super damn cool big buckle belt alt), Argent pants, Philo shoes w the same alt from above

It’s a great scarf to wear tips back. The acrylic butterfly (Solar Eclipse) is obviously optional, but I am partial towards it, a backless halter top

A more sensual draft of the prior look. Same scarf, same tank, All III silk pants and satin mules (these or these are the closest comp but I’d go for the ones from Loulou if you’re after it; they’re on sale in brown here). For something more rough edge, cannot recommend these enough.

Chan Luu robe thing, Aflalo black silk halter top, Esant cotton capri balloons, Zara sandals. A knit clog could possibly work here too, but you’ll need more delicate jewelry

Jujuvera necklaces which you can potentially approximate with A, B; Bobkova silk duster, Heirlome sheer slip (a more practical alt from Rohe is here), K. Jacques/Doen sandals

Ray-ban sunglasses (50mm), The Row graphic cropped tee, The Garment white pants, Chanel patent mocs (these are the best alt but satin flats are my summer rec, and these are 50% off); meanwhile here’s the tassel bag alt for ya

Chloe top (from one of Natacha Ramsay-Levi’s horse collections; genuinely speaking, I think this is her alt), Doen shorts, The Row shoes and another moment for the Hunting Season bag

Bobkova open back dress (with a view at the end if you’re curious), The Row shoes

Soeur bucket hat, Palomo Spain top (these are pretty great too), Prada skirt, Havaianas sandals and a maybe a clutch like this is a gentler alt

Kallmeyer top (this one is more dramatic and available), lace leggings you can get from here or here, K. Jacques sandals, Hunting Season bag

Heirlome striped top, Mango bodysuit and I defer back to the links above for leggings; these for shoes

Khaite bodysuit, The Jude sandals and the pouch I’m holding is from Patty Novo’s One/of.

Indress shirt, Tory Burch sequined suit (is it to give this one a try?), H&M cargo shorts, Gianvito Rossi sandals, a nice leather clutch for you is right this way

But maybe you prefer suede

Khaite bodysuit, H&M shorts, By Malene Birger tarnished gold buckle belt (I’d go for this one if I were doing it now), Chanel patent mocs

Wore it with a patent leather coat over to go out (here and very here for a great deal). The jewelry included a Rhys Kelly ring in the color of my daughter’s eye because I am a creep. A very loving creep.

Khaite bodysuit, The Garment pants, Havaianas flops (she’s the closed toe equiv if you’re not a flip flops off the beach person) and an old satin tassel clutch; look at this one that we missed

A.M.G. lace dress (I wore it with a suede jacket over and still felt a little more naked than I’m good with. On balance she is more practical), The Row boots

Clearly not me in this one, but an outfit I styled for Aflalo’s June ecomm drop last week that is now burned into my memory with a leather coat, this dress (I’m 5’7 and it still hits slightly above ankle) and some simple black flip flops (with a Chan Luu shell necklace)

Veronica de Piante coat, All III cotton mini dress, Altuzarra slingbacks (can’t unsee these tho), Hunting Season tassel trunk

Here’s a yellow-y silk shirt, with a Nikki Chasin skirt (it sold out; I love this one too. Also, this fringe thing! Are you kidding me!) and K. Jacques/Doen sandals

Some pearls my mom gave me (a necklace) styled on my head (this strand from Jil is bomb — like imagine it with a plain white ribbed tank and jeans like the pictured); like literally woven into the back bun. The jeans are these de facto, from Moussy, the jacket is Delia Wade, here is a shoe alt.

Choose your own: black jacket (Leset; see also), bra (All III), pants (Cos), flip flops (the one and only!); then here is a Milne Watson beaded choker and the healing sphere. This outfit was inspired by slide 1 here from Laura

Hands look like a weird belt, like Schiaparelli gone wrong. Renggli jacket, All III tank, surf shorts I’d swap in for the hot pants, and Etro sandals

Indress top, Maccapani pants (see also: these from Negative), Soeur sandals

A vintage t-shirt, Doen skirt, The Row boots

Here’s a nice one shoulder bathing suit that could be a top for you; here’s a drapey body suit. I have to say, the Rue Sophie simple, sexy tops are hitting all the great notes these days. Styled with sheer Dries pants and the Philo shoes

Heirlome top, Fleur du Mal bra (the best cotton alt), Valentino skirt from the Pierpalo days (truly, a sarong is fine) and shoes from the current Alessandro era

A collar and chain/pendant alt plus the only white tank that exists, white jeans, and OTK black boots (these ones are super on sale, and pretty Fall trend forward)

Spolia cape, All III tank, BMB belt, Moussy jeans, Hunting Season clutch, Emme Parsons flats

And sometimes you want to fuck shit up. Studio Valerie Name bolero (you can it get through Merci C’est Vintage), All III white tank, Dries van Noten silk pants (these and these are on sale, these are just darling), Havaianas x Gimaguas slingback flip flops

A thing I really wore in broad daylight last week to sit in a gorgeous venue with hundreds of women and eat salad/talk about reproductive organs

The end!!! Bye.