What were you thinking: A bookshop-keeper in Kansas City on mixing prints for work

Kahill T. Perkins on getting dressed

This is a public post from What we’re you thinking, an interview series about the mechanics (sometimes emotional!) of getting dressed.

“This is an outfit that I would wear to flirt with somebody. Technically, I wore it to work meetings, but it’s full of little things that make me feel confident.

I just started working at an independent bookstore called Raven. I’m doing book sales right now but eventually, hope to review manuscripts. Before this, I volunteered in early childhood education, then transitioned into a full-time role that I held for two years.

I stopped dressing like myself [when I worked] there — I think I wanted to emulate [my co-workers] to feel less alone, thinking they’d take me more seriously if I dressed in a more streamlined way but after a year and a half of not wearing any wacky prints or colored eyeshadow, my mom was like, “What’s going on?”

I had been in a funk and told her I was just really busy and she was like, “Okay, you can be busy, but you’re also not happy.” Which kind of shocked me because it was true, but I hadn’t really known.

Slowly, I started to wear fun makeup again — glitter eyes, a red lip, and then moved back into more exciting outfits. And then after 3 months, I worked up the nerve to pursue this other job I had really wanted.

When I get dressed, I want to convey comfortability -- that I feel good in what I'm wearing. I use my clothes to make it clear that I can handle my own. 

“These are my polka trousers from Lucy & Yak. My mother got them for me for my college graduation. They're my favorite pants in the entire world. My sweater used to be my mom's. I think it's Gap from 15 years ago.”

I can wear a good oxford, I can be focused, but also, "Check out my polka dot pants!” I guess I want to show the parts -- that I am 23 and pushing myself through my masters, but I also like to have fun. I take my life seriously, but I don't take myself too seriously.

MIXING PRINTS

When I was a kid, my mom would say, “Anybody who tells you that you can't wear two prints is wrong, but the prints should have something in common." I know that the rules are arbitrary, and some are meant to be broken, but that is one of the rules that made sense to me -- that prints should somehow relate to each other -- and I’ve kept it.

Keeping this in mind helps me to ground my outfits. I think with the patterns, you want to attract a common color, a common silhouette, or two very different silhouettes: flowy pants with a baggy chunky knit -- or flowy pants with a tight top. 

Even when I'm trying something new, I look to create an element of what is comfortable and familiar to me -- that is, yeah, part of the confidence equation.

SOCKS

Because of how the pants fit (they hit mid-to-low shin), the sock adds a heaviness to the foot and ankle that catches the chunky sweater and balances the streamlined loafers. 

The loafers are important too -- without them, I might feel engulfed by the big sweater and big pants.

TATTOOS

I have two tattoos on my hands -- one hand says will and the other says power.

My father was in the Navy when he was younger and his ship’s motto roughly translated to: We will get through this through willpower. And my mom always thought it was really funny because my dad's name is William, but he will not be called Will. He hates it, I don't know why, but he does. So the tattoos are both to honor my father and to make fun of him. 

JEWELRY

The gold cuff is my paternal grandparents' wedding cuff. It is an Irish tradition to give the second-born daughter the wedding cuff. My dad’s family is Galway — he immigrated here in the height of the Troubles and in some ways, it’s kind of like he left Ireland behind. Wanted to put it and leave him behind him. Sometimes its like I have more of an Irish accent than he does and I’m from here!

I got the cuff when I was 15 — and then the two little beaded things are from my students from Boys & Girls Club of America. When I told my students (first and second graders) that I was leaving, one of them gave them to me and said, "I don't want you to forget me.” Of course, I wear them every day. 

My mom gave me the silver and turquoise pieces. Now that I think of it, all of the bracelets I'm wearing were given to me. 

And then my rings -- so the one on my middle finger was given to me from my partner for our second anniversary. We've been together for five years now, which is essentially my entire adult life. I think about how much time we’ve spent together, and do feel like he is my best friend and if anything were to change, he would still have been the person who I was closest to, so I think that if we were to break up or anything were to happen, at least I would have that experience of being with someone that I trusted for this long.

STYLE REFERENCES

A lot of my fashion sense has come from my mom.

My mother is 50? 60? I don't know. She'd be glad that I don't know. She has bright purple hair currently and wears hand-dyed textiles that she dyed herself and couldn't care less about any of the rules of fashion. She has these silk overalls that she wears all the time.

I don't think I felt like I was confident enough to dress like my mother until I was a bit older -- I think even in the way that she carries herself, she just seems entirely confident in her being even when she’s not.

I learned a lot about clothes through my mom — even if she was having the toughest time, she’d get dressed and just know how to turn it on and be there for whoever needed her.

My dad on the other hand, don’t get me wrong he is welcoming and kind, but not outgoing. He’s very shut-the-door private.

A lot of my clothes (sweaters especially) are from my dad’s closet. I would say my formula for a comfortable outfit is from him: it's a unisex, off-duty, streamlined look. I actually think his sensibilities impact how my mom dresses too. Because with her larger-than-life, eccentric personality, it’s almost like she dresses to represent them both.

I’ve taken elements from both of my parents -- eccentricity and refinement -- and mixed them together. That’s my style.” As told to Leandra Medine Cohen