When your coat is part of the outfit

Decorate your coat, not your look

Creative expression reveals itself through many different mediums, and when it’s alive — when it reflects an active emotional experience, it is also distinctly seductive.

Lately I have been feeling spread thin, like I’m being pulled in too many directions. I’m not sure if it’s because I have a new baby or if November is starting to be like December in all its race-against-the-clock-to-get-to-the-finish-line energy or maybe it’s a combination of both but one condition I’m starting to see when it feels like there’s not enough time is my own de-prioritization of tender pursuits like creative expression.

By Malene Birger belt and coat (a good way to know if a coat is good for belting is by considering whether it comes with a fabric belt; this is my best bet for alt re color, material and price; you want the wool to be warm but not too thick), Alex Mill cargo pants, Jamie Haller loafers (oh, these are new! These too). Here’s a nice silk scarf choker

There’s also a subsequent wrestle to keep it (the expression) close that gets kind of rigid if I take it too far but it occurred to me over the weekend that it doesn’t have to be so one or the other. That I don’t have to wave the flag of defeat and therefore let go of expression, or alternatively, forcefully claw my way into it as if I’ll never get it back.

In the end, this is what suffocates it.

Bode mens’ sweatshirt and jacket (this black one from Polo RL rules), Relax Lacrosse pants, Khaite boots (they seem to be pretty sold out, but the non-stud version is still kicking)

I like clothes as a medium to understand what I’m feeling because I dress intuitively. So even if I don’t understand why something feels right or wrong, I trust enough in the feeling to let it take me, and almost always land at some understanding that leads to a psychic unlock.

Marissa Klass beaded necklace (light beads are good over a dark coat to break it up), Juju Vera silver shell necklace (not an alt, but something nice, or there is now the infinite spiral, from my collaboration with Audry Rose)

Splendid turtleneck, Skall Studio jacket, Max Mara corduroy trousers and keep-forever red flats here, AOI red clogs; an alt pair of good clogs here

In these early months postpartum, the dressing impulses that have felt most authentic are also the simple ones. But when they’re too simple — when they don’t reflect anything, I also notice a sort of anger. This anger, I think, is the expression trying to butterfly. But letting it butterfly completely doesn’t feel right either. It’s incompatible with my current life circumstance, which misses the point of what clothes are supposed to do: support us through our days.

What has been feeling right: repeatable outfits like a muscle tee and stretch wool trousers or jeans, or leggings and a good sweater, or the same t-shirt and some rotating bottoms, overcome by a coat that is whimsically decorated in small, achievable (and removable) ways.

By Malene Birger coat, Old Stone Trade bone brooch (Indress makes beautiful ones too, or a few alternatives from elsewhere are: 1, 2, 3) Flore Flore white muscle tee, Khaite jeans, Shiloh Heritage shoe boots, Prada ‘raso’ satin pouch

Aflalo coat (this is a good alt), Sable belt (good alts are here and here), Ancient Greek Sandals mules and Maria de Rosa socks

Beyond Yoga leggings styled w. the outdoor slippers

Thinking less about the meat of an outfit and more on how to make it special without drifting too far from practicality.

Khaite sunglasses, Loulou Studio coat (a collarless coat helps create interesting outfit dynamics in the winter because you can play around with the shirts you wear under the coat), Soeur white button down shirt, here and here are good corduroy pants (but if what you’re after is this shape and color, I defer back to Callas’ ‘Jules’), Converse sneakers, Rue de Verneuil tote (the red one’s doing something for me)

The silver/gold combo gives you so much flexibility; 6397 red knit turtleneck

I think it feels good because there’s an element of frivolity implicit in the affixation of a brooch or belt or a piece of jewelry to a coat, or a cape to a jacket.

Frivolity doesn’t have to imply a disrespect for necessity, it can serve as more of a talisman, a symbol, even a yearning to reconnect to the spaciousness of self-expression.

Maybe this one is really all about the MNZ scrunchie. So subtle, but it’s what gives the whole thing character. Styled with a Toteme leather coat (get this one) and sweater knit thing (a blanket throw works as a shawl too); Eve Denim mini skirt, The Row suede pumps and a Kule white t-shirt

Splendid turtleneck, navy cashmere blanket, Giuliva Heritage pants, Chloe clogs; Wayfarers and stretch headband (a good one for winter)

And what this spaciousness affords me, really, is the sense that I’m slowing down. That I have slowed down.

What I think the feeling of being spread thin really represents is that I’ve been going too fast and that pace is mostly about how busy my mind has been: how many things are on it, how cluttered it feels.

Somehow taking a tiny moment to make the tiny tweak of adding something weird to my coat feels like an expanse that frees this one part of me.

So these are the whims that are getting me through.

Rohe coat (it’s men’s! and old! but here are two a good alts), Polo riding boots, pearl necklace suggestions here, here and here with best price point and most wow, Khaite bag and the same white t shirt I’ve been wearing all throughout

I’ve been doubting my own style impulses of late. Questioning whether they reflect elements of the collective consciousness, if they’re worth capturing and nailing down, interesting, relevant, relieving at all. If they support what I say I set out to do through this newsletter — communicate how to get dressed. But now that I think about it I also realize that’s not what I’ve wanted to do lately.

Style is so unique to the wearer and sure, there are ways to help someone find their own or channel it or discover the pieces that align with their vision but ultimately when I reconnect to this work, what I find is that I get dressed and then write about it to further understand the unnamed, both within me and the world around me. That’s what this container of creative expression has been giving me, and it’s what I set out to share.

There is only one alternative to the dancing fish pin, and it is this.

Have a soft week,

Leandra