I think you would enjoy reading C. S. Lewis’ essay entitled “The Inner Ring” if you haven’t already. And when it comes to parenting, you can’t give your kids what you don’t have. So, you need to be doing the things that fill you so you can spill over onto them. When my kids were little those activities were non-negotiable. You’re doing a great parenting job just by being intentional. You’re tender heart comes through loud and clear. Go forth and conquer!
He mentions it in his book the Four Loves but you can google the essay to read it in its entirety. I think it was written in 1947 to graduating class at Oxford in regard to their part in England’s reconstruction.
Several good reminders for me here. I have , what is for me, an important gallery opening tonight.
I rarely post, but coming up on this show I have been posting on both Instagram and Facebook (@josanneglass). I received a comment from another artist whose work I adore that was so positive that I truly did feel validated. However, I am also feeling like whatever happens tonight, I have done my best, and it may sound egotistical, but I am truly proud of my work, that I was able to re-invent myself professionally ( I was in HR) and that is enough ( in a good way).
Leandra, I really needed to hear that today as I been thinking so much about validation lately. I love the way that you write and express these weird inner pathways and back alley’s of a woman’s mind. I often joke that my husband is an “I-me”, his first two concerns are I and me. And he is not a selfish ass, just programmed to in a way that is so different. I grew up in a house where women learned to serve (Southern Grandma) and then be angry about it and enact martyrdom (1950’s mom). Anyway, I really appreciate your thoughts and insights on this.
I have followed you and your work for many years. I wanted to mention that Man Repeller: Seeking Love and Finding Overalls is a book I have lent out and continue to lend out to many women. I always ask the borrower to underline away. It’s great to see what other women gravitate to in your writing and I’ve had so many great conversations sparked by your work.
I have recently been caught up in a pattern of my own with external validation in my profession. With each passing week, it is more taxing to align the pieces of myself I am proud of with the pieces that cry out for this exhausting need of being special.
Thank you for this piece!
My Man Repeller beanie is still one of my most favorite pieces to wear on my head this time of year.
Just realized the first paragraph of the story wasn't in the actual e-mail. It's been updated here and read:
I was recently messaging a friend who I had not connected with in months and she asked what has been on my mind. Does anyone ever ask this to you? It was oddly satisfying to be on the receiving end of the question, like it provided a container for me to acknowledge and organize some of the things I’ve been thinking about. Things like:
Ah, understood. My previous comment still applies though I will add, SAME. Similar thoughts have been on my mind as well. The way you convey them in your own voice always reminds me of my own and experiences that influence my thoughts as well. Different but same. 😊
You have expanded my thinking with your emphasis on patterns recently. I have found some insight on that. I think patterns can be good and provide grounding, more like finding solace in the comfort of them. Similar to love languages I think. Anyways...🙃
Adding that I always think of Dr. Wayne Dyer when I hear about anything in regards to manifesting, Law of Attraction, The Secret, Lucky Girl Syndrome, etc...
The way you describe patterns makes me think more of rituals, which are quite a different thing. Patterns being repeat behaviours arising out of habit that can lull us into unconscious behaviours not often helpful to our growth. Whereas rituals are grounding and can aid us on our journey through perilous times, and as you say, find solace in the comfort of them.
I was already thinking that, in regards to ok I description of patterns being similar to rituals. I'm glad you picked up on it. Though I do want to clarify that I still do not think patterns are entirely not helpful to our growth. I think you can have a healthy pattern and not have it be a ritual. You can have a pattern of security and healthy relationships just as much as you can have a pattern for the opposite. I believe Leandra was tapping into that as well.
I do not know why I cannot edit my comment, though please kindly disregard my typos. Just basically saying I know how I described the pattern being similar to a ritual though I stand by there being a difference and a pattern can still bring comfort because it is repetitive and known. Rituals are self soothing as a pattern are part of our character. Right?
I think you would enjoy reading C. S. Lewis’ essay entitled “The Inner Ring” if you haven’t already. And when it comes to parenting, you can’t give your kids what you don’t have. So, you need to be doing the things that fill you so you can spill over onto them. When my kids were little those activities were non-negotiable. You’re doing a great parenting job just by being intentional. You’re tender heart comes through loud and clear. Go forth and conquer!
You are not the first to recommend it. Is it part of a larger anthology?
He mentions it in his book the Four Loves but you can google the essay to read it in its entirety. I think it was written in 1947 to graduating class at Oxford in regard to their part in England’s reconstruction.
I wholeheartedly agree!
Loved (LOVED) reading this.
Really related to these feelings in so many ways.
Thank you for sharing these with us.
Several good reminders for me here. I have , what is for me, an important gallery opening tonight.
I rarely post, but coming up on this show I have been posting on both Instagram and Facebook (@josanneglass). I received a comment from another artist whose work I adore that was so positive that I truly did feel validated. However, I am also feeling like whatever happens tonight, I have done my best, and it may sound egotistical, but I am truly proud of my work, that I was able to re-invent myself professionally ( I was in HR) and that is enough ( in a good way).
Doesn't sound egotistical at all. It sounds self-possessed. Good luck Josanne
Leandra, I really needed to hear that today as I been thinking so much about validation lately. I love the way that you write and express these weird inner pathways and back alley’s of a woman’s mind. I often joke that my husband is an “I-me”, his first two concerns are I and me. And he is not a selfish ass, just programmed to in a way that is so different. I grew up in a house where women learned to serve (Southern Grandma) and then be angry about it and enact martyrdom (1950’s mom). Anyway, I really appreciate your thoughts and insights on this.
Loved reading every word.
Honoured to have a shout out and LOVED this whole piece Leandra
I have followed you and your work for many years. I wanted to mention that Man Repeller: Seeking Love and Finding Overalls is a book I have lent out and continue to lend out to many women. I always ask the borrower to underline away. It’s great to see what other women gravitate to in your writing and I’ve had so many great conversations sparked by your work.
I have recently been caught up in a pattern of my own with external validation in my profession. With each passing week, it is more taxing to align the pieces of myself I am proud of with the pieces that cry out for this exhausting need of being special.
Thank you for this piece!
My Man Repeller beanie is still one of my most favorite pieces to wear on my head this time of year.
Related to soooo much of this!!! Whoah! Your delicate heart and intuitive soul shines right through this. So beautiful
Thank you for this. So true. xx
💛💛💛
Just realized the first paragraph of the story wasn't in the actual e-mail. It's been updated here and read:
I was recently messaging a friend who I had not connected with in months and she asked what has been on my mind. Does anyone ever ask this to you? It was oddly satisfying to be on the receiving end of the question, like it provided a container for me to acknowledge and organize some of the things I’ve been thinking about. Things like:
Ah, understood. My previous comment still applies though I will add, SAME. Similar thoughts have been on my mind as well. The way you convey them in your own voice always reminds me of my own and experiences that influence my thoughts as well. Different but same. 😊
You have expanded my thinking with your emphasis on patterns recently. I have found some insight on that. I think patterns can be good and provide grounding, more like finding solace in the comfort of them. Similar to love languages I think. Anyways...🙃
Adding that I always think of Dr. Wayne Dyer when I hear about anything in regards to manifesting, Law of Attraction, The Secret, Lucky Girl Syndrome, etc...
The way you describe patterns makes me think more of rituals, which are quite a different thing. Patterns being repeat behaviours arising out of habit that can lull us into unconscious behaviours not often helpful to our growth. Whereas rituals are grounding and can aid us on our journey through perilous times, and as you say, find solace in the comfort of them.
I was already thinking that, in regards to ok I description of patterns being similar to rituals. I'm glad you picked up on it. Though I do want to clarify that I still do not think patterns are entirely not helpful to our growth. I think you can have a healthy pattern and not have it be a ritual. You can have a pattern of security and healthy relationships just as much as you can have a pattern for the opposite. I believe Leandra was tapping into that as well.
I do not know why I cannot edit my comment, though please kindly disregard my typos. Just basically saying I know how I described the pattern being similar to a ritual though I stand by there being a difference and a pattern can still bring comfort because it is repetitive and known. Rituals are self soothing as a pattern are part of our character. Right?
What I was describing was finding solace in a healthy pattern as opposed to one that needs to be fixed. That's all. 😊