A poignant read, especially after having just lost my mother. I was her primary caregiver for the last ten years. She was in full skilled nursing facilities the last eight years where I would visit 5 - 7 days a week, I mourn that I do not have a daughter ( or any children) who would do the same, catching issues when she wasn’t cared for properly.
This past month I have sent her paintings and my grandmother’s jewelry to cousins who have daughters so that precious remembrances stay with the women in the family, even if it isn’t my own offspring.
Oh, this hit me in the heart - that elastic, stringy feeling (sorry for butchering your words) that you described so well. Walking in New York, especially without destination, is one of my favorite things to do, because it's when I truly let go and feel. And you described that state so well. Thank you for this gem. I loved and felt every word.
Curious how you understand the times you’ve felt longing in the past, that wasn’t sweet or tender (and related to your girls). Like, what you think those moments/ waves were about? Something I’ve been trying to figure out for as long as I can remember.
Love this question. I think the way I tell stories to myself is changing. So in the past the feeling has scared me to the extent that it’s felt like regret more than anything else, I’ve been like oh no what did I do wrong what can I never have back. On Wednesday night it felt more like: wow that was special this is special all of it is on the same continuum
That’s interesting. Thinking I should ask myself what this longing is saying to me (like the “if your tears could speak”that therapist so often say) and then reflect on if that answer is because of a story or because of a real desire.
A poignant read, especially after having just lost my mother. I was her primary caregiver for the last ten years. She was in full skilled nursing facilities the last eight years where I would visit 5 - 7 days a week, I mourn that I do not have a daughter ( or any children) who would do the same, catching issues when she wasn’t cared for properly.
This past month I have sent her paintings and my grandmother’s jewelry to cousins who have daughters so that precious remembrances stay with the women in the family, even if it isn’t my own offspring.
Beautiful Josanne. I’m sorry for your loss, but also deeply touched by the fabric of the memories you get to see into your experience.
Oh, this hit me in the heart - that elastic, stringy feeling (sorry for butchering your words) that you described so well. Walking in New York, especially without destination, is one of my favorite things to do, because it's when I truly let go and feel. And you described that state so well. Thank you for this gem. I loved and felt every word.
I’ve been thinking about this exact longing, wondering where to put it and how to keep hold of it. Thank you ❤️
Curious how you understand the times you’ve felt longing in the past, that wasn’t sweet or tender (and related to your girls). Like, what you think those moments/ waves were about? Something I’ve been trying to figure out for as long as I can remember.
Love this question. I think the way I tell stories to myself is changing. So in the past the feeling has scared me to the extent that it’s felt like regret more than anything else, I’ve been like oh no what did I do wrong what can I never have back. On Wednesday night it felt more like: wow that was special this is special all of it is on the same continuum
That’s interesting. Thinking I should ask myself what this longing is saying to me (like the “if your tears could speak”that therapist so often say) and then reflect on if that answer is because of a story or because of a real desire.
Beautifully written
I know. Thank you.
Beautifully stated and I agree completely .
I know that feeling exactly.
🩵