And so the paradox continues...I'm on the other end of that spectrum. My kids are now 17, 14 and 12 and our rubber bands are stretched and stretching. Sometimes I long for that closeness when our two worlds were just one. But, then I am so grateful for my freedom and the ease of leaving them alone to go out for dinner on a whim on a Friday night with my husband. You are so right - it's heartbreaking and thrilling. Then throw perimenopause in the loop - what a mind-f@ck.
The limits of the “self” are not solid as one thought ,
This shift of perception towards the expansive , towards the interconnected , as an understanding of “we”, is so accessible in those months post partum ,
It’s so literal , so physical ,
And when breast feeding ,
the understanding of oneself as a “part” of a larger whole , as the letting down milk part of the larger nourishment needing thirsty beast,
Is so literal and clear ,
This awareness is accessible from many other POVs ,
created family powerful among them ,
But the bodily sense of being “in organism “ “in ecosystem “ with others , is so strong in those months past the birth of a baby,
It is easy to get a sense of the sublime ,
(The hard thing is to be able to express it despite the exhaustion !)
The person I’ve been thinking is like to read recently is Winnicott ,
The child psychologist philosopher writer, with the idea ‘there is no baby’ , because motherbaby is one ,
And yet what I feel most vividly reading this now is that what what you glimpse from your particular post partum scope is always true — isn’t that incredible , on so many levels , so many dynamics,
How interconnected we are ,
Wonderful work ,
Your intuitive nature works in so many mediums , lovely
This is a lovely reflection. The mention of breastfeeding and the recognition during let down that somehow you and your baby are in sync — either they’re awake or getting hungry and the impulse that
You HAVE to get home if you’re not or check on them if you are is so palpable
So beautifully said. Your explanation of the connectedness you felt/feel made me sad (that I decided to not have children), but happy for you and every mother. What an amazing reward for having the hardest (mostly thankless) job in the world. Thanks for sharing. xxo-B
I think the thing is that as we get older our capacity to love grows, like we expand and the expansion is poured into however you decide to organize your life. So I don’t doubt moments that don’t look like this in your own life probably do feel like it. Would be so curious to hear if that resonates
And so the paradox continues...I'm on the other end of that spectrum. My kids are now 17, 14 and 12 and our rubber bands are stretched and stretching. Sometimes I long for that closeness when our two worlds were just one. But, then I am so grateful for my freedom and the ease of leaving them alone to go out for dinner on a whim on a Friday night with my husband. You are so right - it's heartbreaking and thrilling. Then throw perimenopause in the loop - what a mind-f@ck.
Yes, I felt the same. My youngest is a teenager—parallel paradox. The scene in the bed took me back….so bittersweet.
Yes!
The limits of the “self” are not solid as one thought ,
This shift of perception towards the expansive , towards the interconnected , as an understanding of “we”, is so accessible in those months post partum ,
It’s so literal , so physical ,
And when breast feeding ,
the understanding of oneself as a “part” of a larger whole , as the letting down milk part of the larger nourishment needing thirsty beast,
Is so literal and clear ,
This awareness is accessible from many other POVs ,
created family powerful among them ,
But the bodily sense of being “in organism “ “in ecosystem “ with others , is so strong in those months past the birth of a baby,
It is easy to get a sense of the sublime ,
(The hard thing is to be able to express it despite the exhaustion !)
The person I’ve been thinking is like to read recently is Winnicott ,
The child psychologist philosopher writer, with the idea ‘there is no baby’ , because motherbaby is one ,
And yet what I feel most vividly reading this now is that what what you glimpse from your particular post partum scope is always true — isn’t that incredible , on so many levels , so many dynamics,
How interconnected we are ,
Wonderful work ,
Your intuitive nature works in so many mediums , lovely
This is a lovely reflection. The mention of breastfeeding and the recognition during let down that somehow you and your baby are in sync — either they’re awake or getting hungry and the impulse that
You HAVE to get home if you’re not or check on them if you are is so palpable
So beautifully said. Your explanation of the connectedness you felt/feel made me sad (that I decided to not have children), but happy for you and every mother. What an amazing reward for having the hardest (mostly thankless) job in the world. Thanks for sharing. xxo-B
I think the thing is that as we get older our capacity to love grows, like we expand and the expansion is poured into however you decide to organize your life. So I don’t doubt moments that don’t look like this in your own life probably do feel like it. Would be so curious to hear if that resonates
Loved this post Leandra ❤️
❤️
Such a great summation. 💕
Brilliant
The emotional fluctuations! Beautifully written 💖