“The outcome of winning was the feeling of fierce separation” … so well said. A mentor of mine often says the only problem any of us have is thinking we are separate.
One of the best feelings is when something happens for a friend and you expect jealousy might come and only joy comes. I feel this as I age. I love finding that joy waiting for me. Thank you — this is thoughtful and lovely and I am grateful.
That’s a beautiful reflection too. I can see how the sisterhood grows more pronounced as we age. Maybe we just come into greater awareness of the connectivity as we get older
Sometimes I think we have to recognize the biology in it. As I come closer to the end of my childbearing capable years, I recognize that we are not just influenced by patriarchical, societal norms but also biological imperatives around mating, reproducing, and competition. As we age those have less purpose and so also less power. But I think maybe we should start having this conversation earlier, younger. Societal structures seem like things we can break and mold, so we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to condemn and resist. This examination and resistance can be good! But it’s not a solo or simple endeavor. Maybe if we recognize our biological inclinations we can find it easier to offer ourselves and other women grace while we still work to set our own course that is more communal and supportive.
To encourage and grow as a community of women -in our careers and as mothers ..in all aspects of our lives. We have so much to learn and give to each other. Thank you for the reminder ..
The ending brought me close to tears. Resisting the urge to compare has been a practice for a while now. Every time I encourage, support and rejoice in my friends’ successes there is an internal reward, at their own reception of that support, that far surpasses the fleeting gratification of “winning”. Thank you for this article today.
Love this! "We’re all just here helping each other learn what it’s like to fly. This is what our matriarchy can look like". I've been thinking lately about how our culture encourages women to be divisive and distracted (which is what happens when we put each other down and don't support each other). Which is exactly what the patriarchy/politicians/ppl with self-serving agendas want.
The photo of the two gents in long shorts and shirts worn open as jackets over tees, they could teleport back to 1994 to waiting in line at Lollapalooza and fit right in. And now I want ugly shorts too!
if only the people in the ugly shorts knew they were inspiring you! watch out for my UPS guy 😂but srsly…inspiration—and psychic cleanup—is where you find it, right?
I love this essay - you had me at ugly shorts (I had no idea I could want them!) and you totally reeled me in with your walking observations. I too, love walking around the city and find that it frees my creativity and allows me to feel and understand what I've been keeping at bay. Such a good observation about we women and our reactions to others' and our own best lives. Thank you for a great read.
I love taking these walks with you. Not only is the city fascinating, but your inner thoughts and reflections are beautifully written and inspiring. Thank you.
When in NYC I particularly like to wonder walking around town, the moving meditation it’s real. I just listened to the Podcast you mentioned and loved it, I totally believe in the frequency theory JS was talking about and I also see that a lot when I meet other women. I’m instinctively competitive (also bc I’m an only child I think) but I am also totally the opposite of it and almost every day I try to get a step forward to became who I want to be and get rid of self judgment there I consequentially reflect to other women.
I will always always love your long form writing LMC.. it feels deceptively like a ramble but truly has a narrative arc
(Also I’m laughing that I used the words “ramble” as you ramble down Madison & yet there’s such an arc to that walk as well.. & it has its own narrative.
Thank you for sharing your really fine writing, authenticity & the flow of emotions
I loved this descriptive piece and now I wish I was back in NYC strolling the streets and looking at all of the street fashion!!! It's sooo good there! Loved the sentiment about women lifting each other up! I have been doing that of late and find that it feels so much calmer, softer, and kinder. As someone who went to a girl's school where there was some vicious behavior that went unchecked for a long time, I am finished with that type of female behavior. Life is too short to tear each other down. We are all in this together and need to support one another. I always endeavor to be courteous and live by the motto "everyone is doing the best they can" and we never know what someone is going through. So please just be kind! Now can we please get a woman to run for president?
We are all in this together. It would be much more pleasant if we behaved as such. 😊
Amen!
“The outcome of winning was the feeling of fierce separation” … so well said. A mentor of mine often says the only problem any of us have is thinking we are separate.
One of the best feelings is when something happens for a friend and you expect jealousy might come and only joy comes. I feel this as I age. I love finding that joy waiting for me. Thank you — this is thoughtful and lovely and I am grateful.
That’s a beautiful reflection too. I can see how the sisterhood grows more pronounced as we age. Maybe we just come into greater awareness of the connectivity as we get older
Sometimes I think we have to recognize the biology in it. As I come closer to the end of my childbearing capable years, I recognize that we are not just influenced by patriarchical, societal norms but also biological imperatives around mating, reproducing, and competition. As we age those have less purpose and so also less power. But I think maybe we should start having this conversation earlier, younger. Societal structures seem like things we can break and mold, so we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to condemn and resist. This examination and resistance can be good! But it’s not a solo or simple endeavor. Maybe if we recognize our biological inclinations we can find it easier to offer ourselves and other women grace while we still work to set our own course that is more communal and supportive.
To encourage and grow as a community of women -in our careers and as mothers ..in all aspects of our lives. We have so much to learn and give to each other. Thank you for the reminder ..
The ending brought me close to tears. Resisting the urge to compare has been a practice for a while now. Every time I encourage, support and rejoice in my friends’ successes there is an internal reward, at their own reception of that support, that far surpasses the fleeting gratification of “winning”. Thank you for this article today.
This is described so well — the feeling that comes over you when you make the different choice is SO intoxicatingly good
Love this! "We’re all just here helping each other learn what it’s like to fly. This is what our matriarchy can look like". I've been thinking lately about how our culture encourages women to be divisive and distracted (which is what happens when we put each other down and don't support each other). Which is exactly what the patriarchy/politicians/ppl with self-serving agendas want.
Extra thank you for that Jerry Seinfeld podcast rec, Leandra! I especially related to "I am a very happy person who hates everything!"
The photo of the two gents in long shorts and shirts worn open as jackets over tees, they could teleport back to 1994 to waiting in line at Lollapalooza and fit right in. And now I want ugly shorts too!
if only the people in the ugly shorts knew they were inspiring you! watch out for my UPS guy 😂but srsly…inspiration—and psychic cleanup—is where you find it, right?
oh, and H&M lately has been so good.
ps great ugly shorts in levis.com men’s section.
Good tip! I found a great pair from wrangler for $25 too
I love this essay - you had me at ugly shorts (I had no idea I could want them!) and you totally reeled me in with your walking observations. I too, love walking around the city and find that it frees my creativity and allows me to feel and understand what I've been keeping at bay. Such a good observation about we women and our reactions to others' and our own best lives. Thank you for a great read.
Needed this today. Thank you :)
You are a wonderful writer. I come for the fashion but linger for the writing. Thank you!
I love taking these walks with you. Not only is the city fascinating, but your inner thoughts and reflections are beautifully written and inspiring. Thank you.
I’m glad you come ❤️
When in NYC I particularly like to wonder walking around town, the moving meditation it’s real. I just listened to the Podcast you mentioned and loved it, I totally believe in the frequency theory JS was talking about and I also see that a lot when I meet other women. I’m instinctively competitive (also bc I’m an only child I think) but I am also totally the opposite of it and almost every day I try to get a step forward to became who I want to be and get rid of self judgment there I consequentially reflect to other women.
I will always always love your long form writing LMC.. it feels deceptively like a ramble but truly has a narrative arc
(Also I’m laughing that I used the words “ramble” as you ramble down Madison & yet there’s such an arc to that walk as well.. & it has its own narrative.
Thank you for sharing your really fine writing, authenticity & the flow of emotions
Really appreciate 😘😘
I loved this descriptive piece and now I wish I was back in NYC strolling the streets and looking at all of the street fashion!!! It's sooo good there! Loved the sentiment about women lifting each other up! I have been doing that of late and find that it feels so much calmer, softer, and kinder. As someone who went to a girl's school where there was some vicious behavior that went unchecked for a long time, I am finished with that type of female behavior. Life is too short to tear each other down. We are all in this together and need to support one another. I always endeavor to be courteous and live by the motto "everyone is doing the best they can" and we never know what someone is going through. So please just be kind! Now can we please get a woman to run for president?