Hello! Welcome to the first open thread of this newsletter. Or rather, welcome to the first invitation to participate in an open thread.
I’m going to spend a couple of hours later on today (figure like, 3-5 p.m. EST) answering whatever questions you deposit between now and then on the topics of: what to wear, how to shop, anything else that pertains to getting dressed. It’s like a personalized styling service, but not. You know?
Examples of such questions could include:
“I’m looking for a dramatic ruffle collar — where could I get one that won’t cost an arm, a leg, a spleen, and my kidneys?”
“I have lost my drive to get dressed, but I still love clothes. What should I do about it (or more tactically: what do you recommend I wear?)?”
“Have you ever actually sweated in sweatpants?”
“How should I wear this [insert garment here] if the majority of my closet seems to want to reject it?”
“How do you find your style?”
“Should I tie-dye my hair?”
“What is the difference between a French cuff and the concept of inconvenience?”
“Do you really believe there are only two emotions from which all else are derivative?”
And on.
Tick your calendars if you’d like to participate in real-time, *or* just deposit your questions now.
In the meantime, too, here is a brief Outfit Anatomy from the dikes of my closet, worn Tuesday 3/2, for the whole of 20 minutes.
I know you didn’t ask for the novella, but sometimes we don’t realize we want something until it is given to us, so: I laid in bed one morning in January reading a story in Business of Fashion about Hedi Slimane’s new Celine. I can’t remember if it referenced a collection that had just launched, but there is one outfit from whichever collection it was that is burned into my memory, which unconsciously, I’ve been assembling onto my person ever since.
Something about her cotton cap catching the sequined jacket and worn over a graphic t-shirt presented this ideal dynamic — a platonic ideal if you will (although honestly, I’m hesitant about Plato’s philosophy on beauty). A sort of representation of two disparate parts amplifying the practical and the grounded, concealing one’s face from the wrath of the sun! Protecting glands from over sweating! While also delivering a wink towards indulgence, the paradoxically frivolous essential that is a sequined jacket.
I’d wear longer jeans — which I did. And pair different shoes — which I did.
I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole of cage sandals, which we can talk about in greater depth another time (good thing there’s a franchise for that!) and this jacket is vintage, or at a minimum, it’s old. I got it from Re-see. It’s pretty lightweight, so it hugs me like a sweater. The sleeves are short enough to give my dinosaur bracelet the chance to roar a pun about the 20s and the buttons, which are jewel-encrusted, are exactly THE SEDUCTIVE CONTRAST that a tie-dye cotton crew neck might ask for.
The fit of this jacket against the jeans, is, to me, a most striking visual representation of the kind of electric flirting that leads to passionate love. It’s like they were made for each other! Even though they’re so different — because they’re so different. And thus serve distinctly separate purposes. It’s a boxy jacket, not too cropped, but also not not cropped and they’re a pair of straight leg, medium-rise jeans. Slouchy but not baggy. Fitted but not tight. But not loose. But loose.
Anyway, Substack’s tip was to write something tweet-length (1-3 sentences) to provoke this discussion. Are you still here? If so, I have one more announcement:
i think you know the style is your style when you have this idea that you really want to wear it and the idea matches the reality of how you FEEL when you wear it. vs. appreciating someone else who has embodied that same sensation process (which is more: "i like/appreciate this look on you") -- took me a long time to realize that being attracted to the confidence someone else emanates when they are dressed truly in their own style is not the same as wanting to wear that thing. i bet a simple line of questining when this kind of thing comes up can help you filter out: this is actually my style vs this is an example of being attracted to the fact that it is so clear you know your own style
how do you beat that feeling of "wardrobe full of clothes but nothing to wear"? i've been spring cleaning and "digitising" my wardrobe with this app called Whering (big Cher from Clueless vibes💫💫) and it's making me realise that i only use about 20% of my clothes...
also I would love to know what you think about the potential role of fashion technology in the upcoming years 🤖
I admire how you mix prints and colorful combinations often in your outfits. I want to make 2021 the year I take more risks and find freedom in wearing colors. But I am in early stages of my transformation. I still feel silly sometimes in bright colors or bold prints. Is this really me? is my most torturous question. What's your advice on the process of gaining confidence in wearing whatever makes you happy and brightens your mood?
hmmm, this happens to me too for whatever it is worth. i used to think all or nothing -- go super big or go home based on the flawed logic that the more i did, the more comfortable i would be and thats how the confidence would grow but it doesn't really work like that, or didn't for me at least, so now i'd recommend baby steps. do just enough to feel like you're taking a minor risk without completely losing control of your own sense of self-confidence and amiability (i dont think ive used this work since i was in high school and nose deep in a thesaurus looking for synonyms for lovable).
example: if you have this idea in your head that you want to wear flamingo pink bike shorts with a miranda hobbes green button down but feel silly in those two garments together, why not first wear the button down with tried and true jeans. or under a dress you really like. with neutral trousers or a skirt, etc. make yourself love the shirt so much, own it, have it become a part of you. then do the same with the shorts until you are like
ok guys, ive known you independently for a pretty long time, and dating has been really nice
I’m a reserved and semi quiet person, I wear either preppy, laid back, or athleisure (mainly athleisure for the last year). I want to wear loud amazing clothes but I don’t want to be judged or give off the wrong impression of my personality? Maybe I have a burning desire inside of me to express hidden parts of myself, maybe I grew up near Harrods and want to finally honour my love for Oscar De La Renta and his comrades? Who knows
question: do you feel good in the clothes that you do wear? do you want to take a risk or expose parts because you think you should, or because, genuinely you want to? i think my advice to you in similar to the advice i gave above to lulublue, which is to take a baby step. wear the preppy, but add a bandana. or the athelisure, but with a quilted jacket. ~some flair~ see how it feels, whether you are comfortable with the judgement (we are all always being judged, aren't we? what commands whether we care or whether we don't?)
if you should decide you want to honor oscar, there is some goooooood stuff languishing on ~ the consignment sites ~
Thank you! I might embark on some exposure therapy and see how it goes, I realize if judgement is what’s holding me back perhaps I ought to be more standoffish with this fear. Absurd how we tie ourselves in knots as individuals over something so vague, the looming cloud that is judgment. You can control what you wear but not what others think of you, after all. You’re great, Madelaur are great, this level of user interaction is wonderful. Thanks for the gems, introducing us to new dips, and the pivot into pop introspection
After having kids my body shape has changed and my old style doesn’t fit me anymore. I can’t figure out how to evolve and find a style that feels like me not like a mom.
what parts of your new body do you like most and dislike most? as with all styling, i think we figure out how to amplify the parts of ourselves we most like, and to respect the privacy of the parts we have deemed less desirable to flaunt, so i think id try first to figure out what you love about your new bod and then we can get into giving those parts the megaphone treatment thru clothez
This is the most important question you’ll receive. Do your backless sandals/flats make that slap noise when you walk? Do you hate it? But also lets hear about your favorite way to wear them while you’re walking around the city making slapping noises with your hoofs :)
they do make the noise. i don't hate it so mich as i do resent it and not the noise but for the constant, nagging reminder, and that my heels are calcifying with every step that i take.
one time,i actually tried to affix rubberbands for my air to my feet because i wanted to walk from bowery and 1st up to 59th street it was such a nice day and the outfit i was wearing called for flat mules but they are not the most appropriate long distance choice. it didn't work, i walked. my heels blistered but we all survived. id probably do it again
current fav way to wear:
knit polo shirt, v-neck open hem sweater, ripped, straight leg jeans (big moussy/vintage 501 energy)
I always think about this when I see people in mules. I have so much envy but know that I walk like a newborn giraffe if I’m not fully secured in my shoes.
commented this down below, for someone who asked a similar q!
1. Trying to reconsider something you wear often in a slightly tweaked way. It's like microdosing, fashion edition. Maybe you're fav button-down shirt, for example, which you always wear styled over a pair of jeans could be tucked it into something you've never worn with it before. A ball gown skirt? Shorts? GO CRAZY. Alternatively, you can just try tucking it into the jeans you always wear it with, and like, add a belt.
2. Unlikely pairings. A favorite sweatshirt to sleep in might become a favorite going out top. (Wear w something sequined? A mini skirt? Idk, u know u better than I do! and like, add a dramatic necklace, or something obscene in your head.
3. Accessory ~over~load. ADD SO MANY FUCKING BRACELETS THAT YOUR BRAIN THINKGS THEY'RE ARM WEIGHTS. Or, you know, one dainty strand of beads!
My favorite of these recs is really the unlikely pairing. Taking things I've had and worn so many times over and doing it in a completely new way. I've been wearing tons of sweaters as formal wear -- pairing grey crew necks with beaded or gold necklaces, tucking them into sequined skirts, or high waist silk shorts. I've been tying them across my body as if a messenger style bag for flair with a t-shirt. If you want to give me your like, essential favorites i can help you come up w ways to wear them anew
These are more formulas, where the variables have to be chosen by you because you know your wardrobe (and self) far better than I.
Tbh I don’t have a specific question I’d just want to say that I absolutely love the whole cereal aisle email thingy. Also that blue jacket from resee is incredible. The perfect shade of blue. Very blue.
thanks for the reinforcement. the first few dispatches made me feel like i was having a pap smear in the public square -- returning to sharing from having been publicly shamed is more difficult than i realized it would be
Hiii! Question for later: how do you keep up with your closet? Do you get bored of some stuff? If so, do you keep or toss? I can easily get rid of ‘disposable/cheap’ items, but I have difficulty with more special items waiting for them to make a comeback or it to pair well with some amazing outfit that may or may not appear one day... I have stuff I haven’t even thought of wearing in 5+ years).
Please give me 3 advice on how to style clothes as originally as you do. What should I think about? It always looks like you paired your clothes completely randomly but it also looks perfect at the same time. x
2. add something unusual. like a beaded necklace if you're dressed formally. a fancy metal necklace if you're dressed casually. loafers w gym clothes, sneakers with a dress and on.
3. make sure you do neither of the above two things without also consulting your mirror as a confidence gut check. do you feel silly? that means something is off, what can it be? ask yourself this, act accordingly. alteratively, if you feel like hot shit in the good way, you're ready.
oh i dont get dressed every morning is the thing. it might seem that way on social media because i tend only to share photos of what im wearing when they're actually outfits (why would i share a picture of myself in a grey sweatshirt and leggings, i dont mean this from the perspective of "it's reality and that's boring," but more so from the perspective of, i use instagram as a tool for discovery and inspiration, so want to give those same elements back) but there r plenty of days when i take off my pjs just to put on whatever is on the chair next to my bed. one great thing about the pandemic in my view has been the complete adjustment of what drives the philosophy of my getting dressed, and to your question, when you're not INSPIRED to get! dressed!, its especially easy not to force yourself into a mood where you are because there's nowhere to go anyway. during more regular times, i will likely use this insight to go easier on myself about depending on tried and true outfits on the mornings i "just cant even"
I wear a gold Mejuri pinky ring ~daily~ and I am looking for something special to add to my hand... No wedding rings of the sort are present. I know you are the actual expert in bobbles, unique bling, and bracelet stacks! Can you recommend something complementary paired or on its own...?
Accessories! I'd especially love to see your playful jewelry collection, because that is what makes each of your looks so so so special to me. Love the dino bracelet, the endless beaded goods and more. What makes a piece special for you and how do you decide what to put on each day?
Where can I find straight “cigarette” style jeans that wouldn’t hug my thighs? If I get a bigger size - they are too big for my waistline. Ew god it’s complicated
I hit my 30s in the first year of the pandemic. Stage of life changes, workplace changes, lifestyle changes combined with lockdown living all make me feel like 1. I don't like 72% of my clothes anymore, 2. I don't know what to wear or 3. I don't know how to get dressed anymore. How can I remedy this/figure out what I actually want to wear without buying a bunch of clothes that no longer serve me and waste money?
1) how i might venture not to interpret the return of the low rise pant as a personal affront
2) and at what age i need to approach wardrobe buying like an investing career (my grandmother rolls in her grave at my flippant, non-timeless buying, etc etc.)
3) lastly, the specific temperature at which we no longer wear tights in spring and
4) how to reconcile the state of play on my pale calves thereafter
have you ever gotten the feeling while you're in one that you're kind of disgusted? not in like, an enchanted or intrigued way. but more like, you're sad. among too much stuff that is for sale that doesn't need to exist and might be causing our environment to collapse at the hand of our existences. usually that sensation means you should leave
I want to be a belt person. Help me be a belt person. Where do I start? I saved an acrylic chain-link Fendi one from TRR but don't know how to style it!!!!!! (But I desperately want to wear it.) Thank you
Tips for finding the best vintage jeans! Should I wait until shops are open again in my part of the world and prepare to dig around in the biggest thrift shop I can find? (if you have london specific suggestions please throw those in!). And what are your thoughts on alterations to jeans, I imagine that will make my search a bit easier?
elastic waist bands baby. risky business TF out of your inner tom cruise and wear button down shirts styled over cotton boxer shorts with socks sneakers sandals etc, add a dtraw basket bag, some sunglasses maybe red lipstick and just be like "what the fuck are you looking at its called fashion look it up" or alternatively, "yes i did thrive within a pandemic how the hell are you doing?"
There are so many great brands out there, especially a lot of smaller brands popping up, and I love it, but can get overwhelmed! How do I shop smart and not get lost in an online shopping hole without even buying anything at the end of said hole?
Hi! I’m looking for shoes for springs that are cute AND comfortable for walks (but not too long walks) and can be worn with many outfits (mostly with jeans though) and NOT sandals so my feet won’t freeze
How do you determine proportions? Example: How do you figure that an oversized coat is too big on you or too big(or small) for a pair of pants to have a desired effect.
Hello Leandra, a mission impossible for your mind: uniform look for every day (boring) office life but... with a twist. I mean a Leandra kinda twist. Love you/follow you forever
I am a 28yo grad student living in eastern North Carolina where the summer humidity is constant and oppressive. How can I wear longer (7 inch inseam or so) shorts and still look stylish and put together?
1. If I'm a typically a size 7 and purchasing Manolos from The Real Real, should I size up or down? 2. Why is it that when I get dressed with looser fitting clothing and want to channel my inner bohemian, I just look like a frumpy trumpet? In my mind I look good but then when I look in the mirror, it's another story?" 3. What length necklaces are optimum for layering? I always buy 18" from Etsy but when I get them are not long enough!
Woohoo! I’m so here for this!! As the weather gets warmer, and we anticipate comfortable distanced hangouts outside, I am so excited to ditch the sweats and dive into my closet!! But I’m pregnant, 20 weeks and growing and other than a couple overalls and one dress, I have no style plan! Can you advise a preggo?
Hi Leandra, thank you for offering to help us get dressed! You're the BEST. I would love to know if you've any tips/tricks for looking good/yourself whilst dressing a steadily growing bump..? would love if you've any helpful advise. Thank you X
Starting b school in the fall (in Chicago!) and after a year of nothing but sports bras & sweats WHAT DO I WEAR. HOW DO I PUT REAL BIZ CLOTHES ON MY BODY. Any advice for easy styles that are laid back but still scream "I'm a boss"?
Do you like khakis and shit? I have some ideas but need better sense of your style. email me! leandramcohen@substack.com (and thanks for being a founding member i could cry)
One year into the pandemic I find myself barely changing out of my sweats, but hating everything in my closet! When I scroll through my camera roll, I feel pangs looking at the ways I used to feel so confident pairing biker shorts with frilly tops, and getting emotional thinking about how I used to search my inventory for the perfect outfit to wear on a CVS run. How do you get out of a fashion rut?
how about taking baby steps towards landing back into that mindset. i totally empathize with the looking through old photos thing -- i do that all the time too and envy the occasions i would make up in my head to wear whatever it was. but anyway: do you find yourself with a need to go out at all lately? even just to the grocery store? maybe start getting dresses up for those moments, document it with a selfie if you need to so it feels like the outfit got a bang for its buck. i think getting dressed is like riding a bike, once you start doing it again it just like, all comes back.
shoes are so hard - I live in NY and walk a lot. i'm stuck between my blundstones and reeboks, both of which i love, but neither of which make me feel fashionable or sexy - and they always tend to bring down rather than elevate an outfit. what does one wear on one's feet?
oh man, this is so much easier to answer when it's not freezingand blundstones or 57863t5278 layers of socks and sneakers are basically the only options. yesterday i walked from 13th university to 88th and 5th in these fisherman shoes (https://spl.it/HsU91U) i've been wearing like hell. my right pinky toe kept trying to escape, but otherwise it was a pretty seamless walking experience.
what are your thoughts on flip flops/open toes in the city?
I'm a big fan, thank you for your sincerity and syntax! <3
Ppl who I find inspirational oftentimes wear stuff I cannot afford, like 300$ shoes. My price range is, for example, a coat from your collaboration with Mango when it's on sale lol. I get upset and think that it doesn't matter what I wear if it's not going to be as exclusive, fun, quick-witted, etc. as the items on my saved IG pics. I need your advice on how I can start appreciating what I already have?
hi leandra! so, I'm some trouble taking off my pijamas (quarantine vibes #sadness), and this is affecting very directly my confidence.... I spent 2020 without buying anything nice, and now I don't even feel like shopping or getting dressed, also I put on some weight (again thanks quarantine)... send help?
Any tips for dressing during that awkward pre-pop phase of pregnancy where you just look bloated? Still looking to lean into a post-vax party vibe, even if only to the actual cereal aisle...
i wore a ton of outdoor voices leggings (the multicolor ones) with oversize button down shirts. but dont think i would do that again...Sea just made these floral spandex pants and i swear they make me want to get pregnant again.
I need help with wearing head scarves and not looking like a cast member of the crown (see pic below). Must ask as i feel like this year has made me unaware of what’s cool now - I blame being on the cusp of being a millennial and gen z - what is the cool girl sneaker to wear if you mainly wear denim and neautrals (navy, black, ecru, greys...) ?
Hi Leandra - nice to "meet" you - thanks for doing this. I don't live in NY anymore and don't have any fashion inspo on the streets where I live. I'm looking for the best places to find inspiration and shop online and where to find a curated assortment of clothes that aren't basic. Any help would be appreciated!
you know, i struggle with this too. so far the place i go for inspo is still very much instagram -- do you follow any accounts that delight or inspire you from that perspective? i would recommend you sift through who they follow to see if there is anyone out there for you!
one anecdote ill share, though, is that i went to dinner like 2 months ago with a fashion editor friend and it was so intoxicating to be in the presence of real style again. so i truly, truly understand where you're coming from. it's easy to get caught in a bubble of malaise -- as i think through this some more, i will keep you in mind <3
tips for getting dressed post baby - did you find a “new” style identity? I’m having more fun dressing my kids than myself, but desperately want to find clothes I can feel “myself” in .. whoever that is now? My new standard for clothing is what can I breastfeed in and feel ~cool~ in?
how old are your kids? lots of q's like these in this thread! my thing is, when you're breastfeeding, you're not and dont feel like your whole indepedent self in the most absolute way, so my recommendation would be to wait but until then, to find ways to assert that self-hood without like, determining that This Is My Style Identity. I bet some of your recognizing that will be the result of having gone through this process.
so for now i say, mens button down shirts in white linen so your nipples show and you can be like im not like a regular mom im a sexy mom
I’ve got a 2 month old and a 19 month old (it’s wiiiild!!!) so I’ve been in a weird self identity change for 2 pregnancies in 2 years and breastfeeding in between and now. Very into the sexy mom linen button down vibe tho!
Just having a hard time really feeling “myself” these days / remembering who I am, how I’ve changed, and who I’ve become?? Guessing it’s about more than clothes haha
-worthwhile splurges and *how to get yourself to actually wear them*
-how to have fun getting dressed when caring for your baby! I had a baby 6 months ago and now my amazing closet full of the fanciful, highly structured clothes I love is going totally neglected because of spitup/breastfeeding/lack-of-friendliness-for-cuddling-with-my-wonderful-baby. but oh man I could really use the pickup of wearing something I actually love and I hate that it feels like it's in tension with prioritizing my baby. please help!
well, a worthwhile splurge kind of has to necessitate that you will actually wear it in my view! what makes it worthwhile if not? ive never been one to go for the fancy dress you can wear once or twice as the splruge. would much prefer a pair of $400 jeans that make me feel like a million bucks, which i know i'll be able to wear, over and over again. whats that piece for you -- the thing that makes you feel most gloriously, gorgeously, unapologetically yourself? the genre of garment makes for a worthwhile splurge!
i relied a lot upon bright colored button downs when i was breast feeding. do you like button down shirts? polo ralph lauren makes fun colors and they gave me a good amount of life. contrast color beaded necklaces, too!
ok, yes, I know you're right about a splurge having to be worn to be worthwhile, but I'm really struggling with this! a perfect pair of jeans is a well-justified splurge, but for me it can also be because something is just really, really special. e.g., I stalk the brock collection on the real real or in sales and I've gotten some pieces that just take my breath away, even when they're just on a hanger in my closet. they make me feel connected to a life that isn't what mine looks like right now but I hope it can be again, and it's that sense of hope and beauty for beauty's sake that I often find nourishing, and needed in times like this.
as for the breastfeeding, button downs are for sure a good idea, even if I'm doing it in more of a neutrals/pearls-with-only-medium-irony kind of way. but I mostly just want to be in silk dresses with tweed jackets, or vintage jeans with a men's white t-shirt and a big bow on my head, or an oversized smoking with a ridiculously short isabel marant mini dress all the time and yet here I am in some emo-ass yoga pants again.
and finally: thank you! for undertaking to engage so much with your readers. honestly, it really seems like a lot of work. I hope it's a positive thing for you!
That’s such a beautiful and poetic connection to style in a way that seems so artful. I really admire it! These are the moments where my pursuit of pragmatism kind of annoys me. Like why can’t I just enjoy something for its sake why does it need to be a pair of jeans! But I am how I am and can also appreciate and admire and be really inspired by how other people are. Sry I just therapied myself in public but so I guess my thought is: do you need a genuine occasion to wear occasion wear? I don’t know where In the world you live, but one great thing about a metropolitan city and partic NY is the extent to which it is such a collective/community experience. That is, you don’t have to make coffee at home, it’s almost easier to go out for it. Can get by easily without knowing how to cook because
Eating out is routine (and cheap to some degree) enough to do nearly every night so the number of occasions to get dressed (that is, be out of your own home) are many. If you don’t live in a city like New York I wonder if it’s worth making plans with people
You love who appreciate
You and your Brock just
So you have an excuse to wear it !? Also, what’s your work life like I wouldn’t not pretend getting dressed to go there could call for Big Gala Energy
thank you! so I actually live in new york, that is, I did until being pregnant in a pandemic in new york just became too much for me last summer and so I decamped to a tiny island in the san juans, where not only do no people evince a shared interest in fashion, but there are no indoor public places open, and it's too cold and rainy to hang around outside without your boots and outerwear being the whole look. which is not to say I haven't had the private pleasure going out in a beautiful outfit that no one sees under my giant coat, but man does it make me miss new york, where people either didn't bat an eyelash at what ridiculous shit I wore to the coffee shop or else would vocally enjoy it with me! and while we're on the subject, I also miss so much the constant inspiration of the people of that city. but I worry that it's a wonderful place for adults but maybe less so for my tiny baby girl? maybe that's my suggestion for a future post: how to raise girls in nyc without them being rushed to grow up too fast.
as for work, I'm a research scientist in AI and sartorially it's pretty much exactly as exciting as you'd expect. honestly, I even feel a certain amount of pressure not to express my interest in fashion at work, since that doesn't exactly win you a lot of Brains Cred in my field, which is obviously fucked up. but it's a moot point now that we all work remotely now anyway.
In light of COVID, what should I do (or rather how should I get dressed) if my need for comfort has now become an unrelenting influence? Specifically I have pretty wide feet, which my younger, more fashionable sister blames on my teaching yoga, and all I want to wear is Crocs and Chacos. Is there a mindset or frivolous essential you recommend incorporating?
I'm sick of jeans! that's all I've been wearing to go out since the pandemic started, what's the best pair of trousers to spice things up a bit? I'm 5′5 and curvy
How to ID your style? And differentiate between "I like that look / style on another person" and "That style is my style"
i think you know the style is your style when you have this idea that you really want to wear it and the idea matches the reality of how you FEEL when you wear it. vs. appreciating someone else who has embodied that same sensation process (which is more: "i like/appreciate this look on you") -- took me a long time to realize that being attracted to the confidence someone else emanates when they are dressed truly in their own style is not the same as wanting to wear that thing. i bet a simple line of questining when this kind of thing comes up can help you filter out: this is actually my style vs this is an example of being attracted to the fact that it is so clear you know your own style
How to wear an oversized dress / top without drowning? Sincerely, 5'2"
buy a regular sized whatever-it-is but like, 1-2 sizes bigger!
also, shoes that expose the arch of your foot. if you are after the look of a longer leg?
hello hello 💖💖
how do you beat that feeling of "wardrobe full of clothes but nothing to wear"? i've been spring cleaning and "digitising" my wardrobe with this app called Whering (big Cher from Clueless vibes💫💫) and it's making me realise that i only use about 20% of my clothes...
also I would love to know what you think about the potential role of fashion technology in the upcoming years 🤖
hope you have an amazing day 💖
I admire how you mix prints and colorful combinations often in your outfits. I want to make 2021 the year I take more risks and find freedom in wearing colors. But I am in early stages of my transformation. I still feel silly sometimes in bright colors or bold prints. Is this really me? is my most torturous question. What's your advice on the process of gaining confidence in wearing whatever makes you happy and brightens your mood?
hmmm, this happens to me too for whatever it is worth. i used to think all or nothing -- go super big or go home based on the flawed logic that the more i did, the more comfortable i would be and thats how the confidence would grow but it doesn't really work like that, or didn't for me at least, so now i'd recommend baby steps. do just enough to feel like you're taking a minor risk without completely losing control of your own sense of self-confidence and amiability (i dont think ive used this work since i was in high school and nose deep in a thesaurus looking for synonyms for lovable).
example: if you have this idea in your head that you want to wear flamingo pink bike shorts with a miranda hobbes green button down but feel silly in those two garments together, why not first wear the button down with tried and true jeans. or under a dress you really like. with neutral trousers or a skirt, etc. make yourself love the shirt so much, own it, have it become a part of you. then do the same with the shorts until you are like
ok guys, ive known you independently for a pretty long time, and dating has been really nice
but its time
for the menage
a
trois
!
I’m a reserved and semi quiet person, I wear either preppy, laid back, or athleisure (mainly athleisure for the last year). I want to wear loud amazing clothes but I don’t want to be judged or give off the wrong impression of my personality? Maybe I have a burning desire inside of me to express hidden parts of myself, maybe I grew up near Harrods and want to finally honour my love for Oscar De La Renta and his comrades? Who knows
question: do you feel good in the clothes that you do wear? do you want to take a risk or expose parts because you think you should, or because, genuinely you want to? i think my advice to you in similar to the advice i gave above to lulublue, which is to take a baby step. wear the preppy, but add a bandana. or the athelisure, but with a quilted jacket. ~some flair~ see how it feels, whether you are comfortable with the judgement (we are all always being judged, aren't we? what commands whether we care or whether we don't?)
if you should decide you want to honor oscar, there is some goooooood stuff languishing on ~ the consignment sites ~
Thank you! I might embark on some exposure therapy and see how it goes, I realize if judgement is what’s holding me back perhaps I ought to be more standoffish with this fear. Absurd how we tie ourselves in knots as individuals over something so vague, the looming cloud that is judgment. You can control what you wear but not what others think of you, after all. You’re great, Madelaur are great, this level of user interaction is wonderful. Thanks for the gems, introducing us to new dips, and the pivot into pop introspection
After having kids my body shape has changed and my old style doesn’t fit me anymore. I can’t figure out how to evolve and find a style that feels like me not like a mom.
what parts of your new body do you like most and dislike most? as with all styling, i think we figure out how to amplify the parts of ourselves we most like, and to respect the privacy of the parts we have deemed less desirable to flaunt, so i think id try first to figure out what you love about your new bod and then we can get into giving those parts the megaphone treatment thru clothez
Sweet (sour?) Leandra,
This is the most important question you’ll receive. Do your backless sandals/flats make that slap noise when you walk? Do you hate it? But also lets hear about your favorite way to wear them while you’re walking around the city making slapping noises with your hoofs :)
they do make the noise. i don't hate it so mich as i do resent it and not the noise but for the constant, nagging reminder, and that my heels are calcifying with every step that i take.
one time,i actually tried to affix rubberbands for my air to my feet because i wanted to walk from bowery and 1st up to 59th street it was such a nice day and the outfit i was wearing called for flat mules but they are not the most appropriate long distance choice. it didn't work, i walked. my heels blistered but we all survived. id probably do it again
current fav way to wear:
knit polo shirt, v-neck open hem sweater, ripped, straight leg jeans (big moussy/vintage 501 energy)
I always think about this when I see people in mules. I have so much envy but know that I walk like a newborn giraffe if I’m not fully secured in my shoes.
WHAT to where when you go through a 'i hate everything in my closet' phase? without re purchasing a new wardrobe...
commented this down below, for someone who asked a similar q!
1. Trying to reconsider something you wear often in a slightly tweaked way. It's like microdosing, fashion edition. Maybe you're fav button-down shirt, for example, which you always wear styled over a pair of jeans could be tucked it into something you've never worn with it before. A ball gown skirt? Shorts? GO CRAZY. Alternatively, you can just try tucking it into the jeans you always wear it with, and like, add a belt.
2. Unlikely pairings. A favorite sweatshirt to sleep in might become a favorite going out top. (Wear w something sequined? A mini skirt? Idk, u know u better than I do! and like, add a dramatic necklace, or something obscene in your head.
3. Accessory ~over~load. ADD SO MANY FUCKING BRACELETS THAT YOUR BRAIN THINKGS THEY'RE ARM WEIGHTS. Or, you know, one dainty strand of beads!
My favorite of these recs is really the unlikely pairing. Taking things I've had and worn so many times over and doing it in a completely new way. I've been wearing tons of sweaters as formal wear -- pairing grey crew necks with beaded or gold necklaces, tucking them into sequined skirts, or high waist silk shorts. I've been tying them across my body as if a messenger style bag for flair with a t-shirt. If you want to give me your like, essential favorites i can help you come up w ways to wear them anew
These are more formulas, where the variables have to be chosen by you because you know your wardrobe (and self) far better than I.
What pieces should we buy inexpensively?
Tbh I don’t have a specific question I’d just want to say that I absolutely love the whole cereal aisle email thingy. Also that blue jacket from resee is incredible. The perfect shade of blue. Very blue.
thanks for the reinforcement. the first few dispatches made me feel like i was having a pap smear in the public square -- returning to sharing from having been publicly shamed is more difficult than i realized it would be
I always look forward to your posts! They are joyful and refreshing
We love you!
Hiii! Question for later: how do you keep up with your closet? Do you get bored of some stuff? If so, do you keep or toss? I can easily get rid of ‘disposable/cheap’ items, but I have difficulty with more special items waiting for them to make a comeback or it to pair well with some amazing outfit that may or may not appear one day... I have stuff I haven’t even thought of wearing in 5+ years).
Please give me 3 advice on how to style clothes as originally as you do. What should I think about? It always looks like you paired your clothes completely randomly but it also looks perfect at the same time. x
i will try!
1. mix casual with fancy. that is: a sequined tank top, for example, with exercise shorts. or mens cotton boxer shorts (IM OBSESSED WITH THESE LATELY https://theentireworld.com/men/underwear?st=Boxers.&ranMID=44356&ranEAID=2116208&ranSiteID=TnL5HPStwNw-IwoIrtutPNH5h4dJRkdJ4w&utm_source=rakuten&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=2116208&utm_content=1) with a structured, feminine jacket.
2. add something unusual. like a beaded necklace if you're dressed formally. a fancy metal necklace if you're dressed casually. loafers w gym clothes, sneakers with a dress and on.
3. make sure you do neither of the above two things without also consulting your mirror as a confidence gut check. do you feel silly? that means something is off, what can it be? ask yourself this, act accordingly. alteratively, if you feel like hot shit in the good way, you're ready.
Rain outfits that aren’t Niagara Falls ponchos?
I have one of those, it's a great mix of style and function, and I love it, kind of elevated fisherman vibe: https://www.samsoe.com/en/woman/clothing/jackets-and-coats/raincoats/
How do you get inspired to get dressed every morning when you don’t necessarily have any real place to be or people to see?
oh i dont get dressed every morning is the thing. it might seem that way on social media because i tend only to share photos of what im wearing when they're actually outfits (why would i share a picture of myself in a grey sweatshirt and leggings, i dont mean this from the perspective of "it's reality and that's boring," but more so from the perspective of, i use instagram as a tool for discovery and inspiration, so want to give those same elements back) but there r plenty of days when i take off my pjs just to put on whatever is on the chair next to my bed. one great thing about the pandemic in my view has been the complete adjustment of what drives the philosophy of my getting dressed, and to your question, when you're not INSPIRED to get! dressed!, its especially easy not to force yourself into a mood where you are because there's nowhere to go anyway. during more regular times, i will likely use this insight to go easier on myself about depending on tried and true outfits on the mornings i "just cant even"
I strongly second this!
Help!
I wear a gold Mejuri pinky ring ~daily~ and I am looking for something special to add to my hand... No wedding rings of the sort are present. I know you are the actual expert in bobbles, unique bling, and bracelet stacks! Can you recommend something complementary paired or on its own...?
recent discovery, love their rings: https://www.instagram.com/brua_jewellery/?hl=en
also a fan of daphine!
https://shop-daphine.com/collections/rings
...and now I am a fan of daphine!!! Thank you for all the inspiration, openness, and musings over the last decade XO
Accessories! I'd especially love to see your playful jewelry collection, because that is what makes each of your looks so so so special to me. Love the dino bracelet, the endless beaded goods and more. What makes a piece special for you and how do you decide what to put on each day?
Where can I find straight “cigarette” style jeans that wouldn’t hug my thighs? If I get a bigger size - they are too big for my waistline. Ew god it’s complicated
whats your budget? i think closed's pedal pushers (do want to say that they're a spon con partner of mine)
I hit my 30s in the first year of the pandemic. Stage of life changes, workplace changes, lifestyle changes combined with lockdown living all make me feel like 1. I don't like 72% of my clothes anymore, 2. I don't know what to wear or 3. I don't know how to get dressed anymore. How can I remedy this/figure out what I actually want to wear without buying a bunch of clothes that no longer serve me and waste money?
1) how i might venture not to interpret the return of the low rise pant as a personal affront
2) and at what age i need to approach wardrobe buying like an investing career (my grandmother rolls in her grave at my flippant, non-timeless buying, etc etc.)
3) lastly, the specific temperature at which we no longer wear tights in spring and
4) how to reconcile the state of play on my pale calves thereafter
What should I do if I like a specific style but don’t like it on my body?
For the queen of internet rabbit holes— how do I know if an rabbit hole is going to lead me to my new favorite item, or going to waste my time?
have you ever gotten the feeling while you're in one that you're kind of disgusted? not in like, an enchanted or intrigued way. but more like, you're sad. among too much stuff that is for sale that doesn't need to exist and might be causing our environment to collapse at the hand of our existences. usually that sensation means you should leave
Ciao Leandra!
Skinny jeans. Not sure if I hate them or just don't know how to make them interesting anymore. I'm sure you can so please help!!
i would say...dont buy a new pair if you're looking for new jeans, but if you have a pair, hold on to them but stow for a little while!
I want to be a belt person. Help me be a belt person. Where do I start? I saved an acrylic chain-link Fendi one from TRR but don't know how to style it!!!!!! (But I desperately want to wear it.) Thank you
THAT SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN CAN YOU LINK US? also, black t-shurt and straight leg jeans!
Tips for finding the best vintage jeans! Should I wait until shops are open again in my part of the world and prepare to dig around in the biggest thrift shop I can find? (if you have london specific suggestions please throw those in!). And what are your thoughts on alterations to jeans, I imagine that will make my search a bit easier?
ive never actually altered jeans, i would wait and seduce myself through the hunt!
What to wear when you've gained the quarantine 20 and none of your clothes fit but you want to feel cute
elastic waist bands baby. risky business TF out of your inner tom cruise and wear button down shirts styled over cotton boxer shorts with socks sneakers sandals etc, add a dtraw basket bag, some sunglasses maybe red lipstick and just be like "what the fuck are you looking at its called fashion look it up" or alternatively, "yes i did thrive within a pandemic how the hell are you doing?"
There are so many great brands out there, especially a lot of smaller brands popping up, and I love it, but can get overwhelmed! How do I shop smart and not get lost in an online shopping hole without even buying anything at the end of said hole?
is it an instagram hole or an ecomm hole?
this is probably not a helpful answer but both? might start on insta and it branches out to ecomm, but if starts on ecomm usually stays ecomm
Hi! I’m looking for shoes for springs that are cute AND comfortable for walks (but not too long walks) and can be worn with many outfits (mostly with jeans though) and NOT sandals so my feet won’t freeze
How do you determine proportions? Example: How do you figure that an oversized coat is too big on you or too big(or small) for a pair of pants to have a desired effect.
Flat shoes (not sneakers) on a student budget which can hold up to a long day of walking!
Hello Leandra, a mission impossible for your mind: uniform look for every day (boring) office life but... with a twist. I mean a Leandra kinda twist. Love you/follow you forever
I am a 28yo grad student living in eastern North Carolina where the summer humidity is constant and oppressive. How can I wear longer (7 inch inseam or so) shorts and still look stylish and put together?
1. If I'm a typically a size 7 and purchasing Manolos from The Real Real, should I size up or down? 2. Why is it that when I get dressed with looser fitting clothing and want to channel my inner bohemian, I just look like a frumpy trumpet? In my mind I look good but then when I look in the mirror, it's another story?" 3. What length necklaces are optimum for layering? I always buy 18" from Etsy but when I get them are not long enough!
Woohoo! I’m so here for this!! As the weather gets warmer, and we anticipate comfortable distanced hangouts outside, I am so excited to ditch the sweats and dive into my closet!! But I’m pregnant, 20 weeks and growing and other than a couple overalls and one dress, I have no style plan! Can you advise a preggo?
Hi Leandra, thank you for offering to help us get dressed! You're the BEST. I would love to know if you've any tips/tricks for looking good/yourself whilst dressing a steadily growing bump..? would love if you've any helpful advise. Thank you X
Starting b school in the fall (in Chicago!) and after a year of nothing but sports bras & sweats WHAT DO I WEAR. HOW DO I PUT REAL BIZ CLOTHES ON MY BODY. Any advice for easy styles that are laid back but still scream "I'm a boss"?
Do you like khakis and shit? I have some ideas but need better sense of your style. email me! leandramcohen@substack.com (and thanks for being a founding member i could cry)
One year into the pandemic I find myself barely changing out of my sweats, but hating everything in my closet! When I scroll through my camera roll, I feel pangs looking at the ways I used to feel so confident pairing biker shorts with frilly tops, and getting emotional thinking about how I used to search my inventory for the perfect outfit to wear on a CVS run. How do you get out of a fashion rut?
how about taking baby steps towards landing back into that mindset. i totally empathize with the looking through old photos thing -- i do that all the time too and envy the occasions i would make up in my head to wear whatever it was. but anyway: do you find yourself with a need to go out at all lately? even just to the grocery store? maybe start getting dresses up for those moments, document it with a selfie if you need to so it feels like the outfit got a bang for its buck. i think getting dressed is like riding a bike, once you start doing it again it just like, all comes back.
I think you should checkout this https://www.enigmaprivateclub.com/post/unlocking-the-secrets-of-quiet-luxury-7-rules-of-dressing-in-enigma-style
shoes are so hard - I live in NY and walk a lot. i'm stuck between my blundstones and reeboks, both of which i love, but neither of which make me feel fashionable or sexy - and they always tend to bring down rather than elevate an outfit. what does one wear on one's feet?
oh man, this is so much easier to answer when it's not freezingand blundstones or 57863t5278 layers of socks and sneakers are basically the only options. yesterday i walked from 13th university to 88th and 5th in these fisherman shoes (https://spl.it/HsU91U) i've been wearing like hell. my right pinky toe kept trying to escape, but otherwise it was a pretty seamless walking experience.
what are your thoughts on flip flops/open toes in the city?
Hey!
I'm a big fan, thank you for your sincerity and syntax! <3
Ppl who I find inspirational oftentimes wear stuff I cannot afford, like 300$ shoes. My price range is, for example, a coat from your collaboration with Mango when it's on sale lol. I get upset and think that it doesn't matter what I wear if it's not going to be as exclusive, fun, quick-witted, etc. as the items on my saved IG pics. I need your advice on how I can start appreciating what I already have?
I want to own *one* radically functional pair of summer sandals that go with everything that aren’t birkinstocks
hi leandra! so, I'm some trouble taking off my pijamas (quarantine vibes #sadness), and this is affecting very directly my confidence.... I spent 2020 without buying anything nice, and now I don't even feel like shopping or getting dressed, also I put on some weight (again thanks quarantine)... send help?
Hi Leandra ! What is a good first investment bag (à la Chanel flap bag but more unique/one of a kind) within a budget of around $2,000 ? Thank you !!
Any tips for dressing during that awkward pre-pop phase of pregnancy where you just look bloated? Still looking to lean into a post-vax party vibe, even if only to the actual cereal aisle...
i wore a ton of outdoor voices leggings (the multicolor ones) with oversize button down shirts. but dont think i would do that again...Sea just made these floral spandex pants and i swear they make me want to get pregnant again.
https://sea-ny.com/products/lissa-pants?variant=32406320676900
also really like the checkered pants from On Y Va
https://studioonyva.dk/vare-kategori/pants/
which i guess is my way to recommend your wearing pajama pants out with button down shirts?
What advice would you have loved to hear when you were a teenager?
I need help with wearing head scarves and not looking like a cast member of the crown (see pic below). Must ask as i feel like this year has made me unaware of what’s cool now - I blame being on the cusp of being a millennial and gen z - what is the cool girl sneaker to wear if you mainly wear denim and neautrals (navy, black, ecru, greys...) ?
Hi Leandra - nice to "meet" you - thanks for doing this. I don't live in NY anymore and don't have any fashion inspo on the streets where I live. I'm looking for the best places to find inspiration and shop online and where to find a curated assortment of clothes that aren't basic. Any help would be appreciated!
you know, i struggle with this too. so far the place i go for inspo is still very much instagram -- do you follow any accounts that delight or inspire you from that perspective? i would recommend you sift through who they follow to see if there is anyone out there for you!
one anecdote ill share, though, is that i went to dinner like 2 months ago with a fashion editor friend and it was so intoxicating to be in the presence of real style again. so i truly, truly understand where you're coming from. it's easy to get caught in a bubble of malaise -- as i think through this some more, i will keep you in mind <3
Thank you - for both comments! I'm intoxicated thinking about your dinner :)
tips for getting dressed post baby - did you find a “new” style identity? I’m having more fun dressing my kids than myself, but desperately want to find clothes I can feel “myself” in .. whoever that is now? My new standard for clothing is what can I breastfeed in and feel ~cool~ in?
how old are your kids? lots of q's like these in this thread! my thing is, when you're breastfeeding, you're not and dont feel like your whole indepedent self in the most absolute way, so my recommendation would be to wait but until then, to find ways to assert that self-hood without like, determining that This Is My Style Identity. I bet some of your recognizing that will be the result of having gone through this process.
so for now i say, mens button down shirts in white linen so your nipples show and you can be like im not like a regular mom im a sexy mom
I’ve got a 2 month old and a 19 month old (it’s wiiiild!!!) so I’ve been in a weird self identity change for 2 pregnancies in 2 years and breastfeeding in between and now. Very into the sexy mom linen button down vibe tho!
Just having a hard time really feeling “myself” these days / remembering who I am, how I’ve changed, and who I’ve become?? Guessing it’s about more than clothes haha
Let’s talk about it! Leandramcohen@substack.com ❤️
Would love if you made this a newsletter! Seems like we have a lot of moms in these comments (including me!) and this is such a relatable question
I would love to hear your recommendations for:
-worthwhile splurges and *how to get yourself to actually wear them*
-how to have fun getting dressed when caring for your baby! I had a baby 6 months ago and now my amazing closet full of the fanciful, highly structured clothes I love is going totally neglected because of spitup/breastfeeding/lack-of-friendliness-for-cuddling-with-my-wonderful-baby. but oh man I could really use the pickup of wearing something I actually love and I hate that it feels like it's in tension with prioritizing my baby. please help!
well, a worthwhile splurge kind of has to necessitate that you will actually wear it in my view! what makes it worthwhile if not? ive never been one to go for the fancy dress you can wear once or twice as the splruge. would much prefer a pair of $400 jeans that make me feel like a million bucks, which i know i'll be able to wear, over and over again. whats that piece for you -- the thing that makes you feel most gloriously, gorgeously, unapologetically yourself? the genre of garment makes for a worthwhile splurge!
i relied a lot upon bright colored button downs when i was breast feeding. do you like button down shirts? polo ralph lauren makes fun colors and they gave me a good amount of life. contrast color beaded necklaces, too!
ok, yes, I know you're right about a splurge having to be worn to be worthwhile, but I'm really struggling with this! a perfect pair of jeans is a well-justified splurge, but for me it can also be because something is just really, really special. e.g., I stalk the brock collection on the real real or in sales and I've gotten some pieces that just take my breath away, even when they're just on a hanger in my closet. they make me feel connected to a life that isn't what mine looks like right now but I hope it can be again, and it's that sense of hope and beauty for beauty's sake that I often find nourishing, and needed in times like this.
as for the breastfeeding, button downs are for sure a good idea, even if I'm doing it in more of a neutrals/pearls-with-only-medium-irony kind of way. but I mostly just want to be in silk dresses with tweed jackets, or vintage jeans with a men's white t-shirt and a big bow on my head, or an oversized smoking with a ridiculously short isabel marant mini dress all the time and yet here I am in some emo-ass yoga pants again.
and finally: thank you! for undertaking to engage so much with your readers. honestly, it really seems like a lot of work. I hope it's a positive thing for you!
That’s such a beautiful and poetic connection to style in a way that seems so artful. I really admire it! These are the moments where my pursuit of pragmatism kind of annoys me. Like why can’t I just enjoy something for its sake why does it need to be a pair of jeans! But I am how I am and can also appreciate and admire and be really inspired by how other people are. Sry I just therapied myself in public but so I guess my thought is: do you need a genuine occasion to wear occasion wear? I don’t know where In the world you live, but one great thing about a metropolitan city and partic NY is the extent to which it is such a collective/community experience. That is, you don’t have to make coffee at home, it’s almost easier to go out for it. Can get by easily without knowing how to cook because
Eating out is routine (and cheap to some degree) enough to do nearly every night so the number of occasions to get dressed (that is, be out of your own home) are many. If you don’t live in a city like New York I wonder if it’s worth making plans with people
You love who appreciate
You and your Brock just
So you have an excuse to wear it !? Also, what’s your work life like I wouldn’t not pretend getting dressed to go there could call for Big Gala Energy
thank you! so I actually live in new york, that is, I did until being pregnant in a pandemic in new york just became too much for me last summer and so I decamped to a tiny island in the san juans, where not only do no people evince a shared interest in fashion, but there are no indoor public places open, and it's too cold and rainy to hang around outside without your boots and outerwear being the whole look. which is not to say I haven't had the private pleasure going out in a beautiful outfit that no one sees under my giant coat, but man does it make me miss new york, where people either didn't bat an eyelash at what ridiculous shit I wore to the coffee shop or else would vocally enjoy it with me! and while we're on the subject, I also miss so much the constant inspiration of the people of that city. but I worry that it's a wonderful place for adults but maybe less so for my tiny baby girl? maybe that's my suggestion for a future post: how to raise girls in nyc without them being rushed to grow up too fast.
as for work, I'm a research scientist in AI and sartorially it's pretty much exactly as exciting as you'd expect. honestly, I even feel a certain amount of pressure not to express my interest in fashion at work, since that doesn't exactly win you a lot of Brains Cred in my field, which is obviously fucked up. but it's a moot point now that we all work remotely now anyway.
In light of COVID, what should I do (or rather how should I get dressed) if my need for comfort has now become an unrelenting influence? Specifically I have pretty wide feet, which my younger, more fashionable sister blames on my teaching yoga, and all I want to wear is Crocs and Chacos. Is there a mindset or frivolous essential you recommend incorporating?
im kind of obsessed with that new clog hunter released. have you seen it?
https://spl.it/XHOzHm
It's perfect. Thanks for the rec!
Hello Leandra,
I'm sick of jeans! that's all I've been wearing to go out since the pandemic started, what's the best pair of trousers to spice things up a bit? I'm 5′5 and curvy
Thanks !!