Can I help you get dressed?

Mar 24, 2021

Hello! Welcome to the first open thread of this newsletter. Or rather, welcome to the first invitation to participate in an open thread.

I’m going to spend a couple of hours later on today (figure like, 3-5 p.m. EST) answering whatever questions you deposit between now and then on the topics of: what to wear, how to shop, anything else that pertains to getting dressed. It’s like a personalized styling service, but not. You know?

Examples of such questions could include:

“I’m looking for a dramatic ruffle collar — where could I get one that won’t cost an arm, a leg, a spleen, and my kidneys?”

“I have lost my drive to get dressed, but I still love clothes. What should I do about it (or more tactically: what do you recommend I wear?)?”

“Have you ever actually sweated in sweatpants?”

“How should I wear this [insert garment here] if the majority of my closet seems to want to reject it?”

“How do you find your style?”

“Should I tie-dye my hair?”

“What is the difference between a French cuff and the concept of inconvenience?”

“Do you really believe there are only two emotions from which all else are derivative?”

And on.

Tick your calendars if you’d like to participate in real-time, *or* just deposit your questions now.

In the meantime, too, here is a brief Outfit Anatomy from the dikes of my closet, worn Tuesday 3/2, for the whole of 20 minutes.

I know you didn’t ask for the novella, but sometimes we don’t realize we want something until it is given to us, so: I laid in bed one morning in January reading a story in Business of Fashion about Hedi Slimane’s new Celine. I can’t remember if it referenced a collection that had just launched, but there is one outfit from whichever collection it was that is burned into my memory, which unconsciously, I’ve been assembling onto my person ever since.

Something about her cotton cap catching the sequined jacket and worn over a graphic t-shirt presented this ideal dynamic — a platonic ideal if you will (although honestly, I’m hesitant about Plato’s philosophy on beauty). A sort of representation of two disparate parts amplifying the practical and the grounded, concealing one’s face from the wrath of the sun! Protecting glands from over sweating! While also delivering a wink towards indulgence, the paradoxically frivolous essential that is a sequined jacket.

I’d wear longer jeans — which I did. And pair different shoes — which I did.

I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole of cage sandals, which we can talk about in greater depth another time (good thing there’s a franchise for that!) and this jacket is vintage, or at a minimum, it’s old. I got it from Re-see. It’s pretty lightweight, so it hugs me like a sweater. The sleeves are short enough to give my dinosaur bracelet the chance to roar a pun about the 20s and the buttons, which are jewel-encrusted, are exactly THE SEDUCTIVE CONTRAST that a tie-dye cotton crew neck might ask for.

The fit of this jacket against the jeans, is, to me, a most striking visual representation of the kind of electric flirting that leads to passionate love. It’s like they were made for each other! Even though they’re so different — because they’re so different. And thus serve distinctly separate purposes. It’s a boxy jacket, not too cropped, but also not not cropped and they’re a pair of straight leg, medium-rise jeans. Slouchy but not baggy. Fitted but not tight. But not loose. But loose.

Anyway, Substack’s tip was to write something tweet-length (1-3 sentences) to provoke this discussion. Are you still here? If so, I have one more announcement:

I’m a bucket hat person now.

Talk to me, love you, etc,

Leandra

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The Cereal Aisle by Leandra Medine Cohen

Can I help you get dressed?