I think that sometimes our “ shoulds” get in the way. Both the “ I need to be the perfect mom” but equally “ I should be out in the world, I shouldn’t be enjoying this domesticated life” .
I am in a different phase of life from you but some of the feelings ( at least what I think you are expressing) aren’t that different. Even just the joy seeing my dog when I have been away (though it cannot compare to your sweet girls).
I retired after 30 years of corporate life and while I am now an exhibiting artist, I spend a lot of time puttering about the house.
At first I struggled with it thinking I should be out doing more, my husband should be doing more (he actually does a lot). It took me several years to just lean in and enjoy the small quiet moments - doing the grocery list, taking the dog out, just sitting with a coffee. All of it, the big outside world stuff and the home stuff are important and have a time and a place.
Relate to all of it -- especially the part where you're tempted to call out Abie even though you're doing what you actually want. I am VERY sensitive to fairness/inequity and trad roles. And I sometimes find myself picking something up on principle that I don't actually care about. And like, my hub is a feminist actually and not the enemy so my fear that somehow I am being subjected to something is unfounded when it comes to him. This notion of stopping to think first and be like -- wait but am I happy or unhappy and to say, he's not the enemy, he aint heavy he's my hubby -- this is only coming to me 14 years into a second marriage at age 51. So there you go. Thank you as always.
I think that sometimes our “ shoulds” get in the way. Both the “ I need to be the perfect mom” but equally “ I should be out in the world, I shouldn’t be enjoying this domesticated life” .
I am in a different phase of life from you but some of the feelings ( at least what I think you are expressing) aren’t that different. Even just the joy seeing my dog when I have been away (though it cannot compare to your sweet girls).
I retired after 30 years of corporate life and while I am now an exhibiting artist, I spend a lot of time puttering about the house.
At first I struggled with it thinking I should be out doing more, my husband should be doing more (he actually does a lot). It took me several years to just lean in and enjoy the small quiet moments - doing the grocery list, taking the dog out, just sitting with a coffee. All of it, the big outside world stuff and the home stuff are important and have a time and a place.
Relate to all of it -- especially the part where you're tempted to call out Abie even though you're doing what you actually want. I am VERY sensitive to fairness/inequity and trad roles. And I sometimes find myself picking something up on principle that I don't actually care about. And like, my hub is a feminist actually and not the enemy so my fear that somehow I am being subjected to something is unfounded when it comes to him. This notion of stopping to think first and be like -- wait but am I happy or unhappy and to say, he's not the enemy, he aint heavy he's my hubby -- this is only coming to me 14 years into a second marriage at age 51. So there you go. Thank you as always.
it took me thinking that probably I need to get the courage to do this: set a few days “out of office” and comeback. Thank you for your openness. 💫