I think that sometimes our “ shoulds” get in the way. Both the “ I need to be the perfect mom” but equally “ I should be out in the world, I shouldn’t be enjoying this domesticated life” .
I am in a different phase of life from you but some of the feelings ( at least what I think you are expressing) aren’t that different. Even just the joy seeing my dog when I have been away (though it cannot compare to your sweet girls).
I retired after 30 years of corporate life and while I am now an exhibiting artist, I spend a lot of time puttering about the house.
At first I struggled with it thinking I should be out doing more, my husband should be doing more (he actually does a lot). It took me several years to just lean in and enjoy the small quiet moments - doing the grocery list, taking the dog out, just sitting with a coffee. All of it, the big outside world stuff and the home stuff are important and have a time and a place.
Relate to all of it -- especially the part where you're tempted to call out Abie even though you're doing what you actually want. I am VERY sensitive to fairness/inequity and trad roles. And I sometimes find myself picking something up on principle that I don't actually care about. And like, my hub is a feminist actually and not the enemy so my fear that somehow I am being subjected to something is unfounded when it comes to him. This notion of stopping to think first and be like -- wait but am I happy or unhappy and to say, he's not the enemy, he aint heavy he's my hubby -- this is only coming to me 14 years into a second marriage at age 51. So there you go. Thank you as always.
Yes! This is it exactly. I’m just coming to see and know it too and in fact I’m not even sure it would have been as clear to me if you didn’t break it down and say it back. So gratifying to see it resonate. Thanks as always for being so thoughtful and for engaging. It makes doing this SO satisfying.
I think that sometimes our “ shoulds” get in the way. Both the “ I need to be the perfect mom” but equally “ I should be out in the world, I shouldn’t be enjoying this domesticated life” .
I am in a different phase of life from you but some of the feelings ( at least what I think you are expressing) aren’t that different. Even just the joy seeing my dog when I have been away (though it cannot compare to your sweet girls).
I retired after 30 years of corporate life and while I am now an exhibiting artist, I spend a lot of time puttering about the house.
At first I struggled with it thinking I should be out doing more, my husband should be doing more (he actually does a lot). It took me several years to just lean in and enjoy the small quiet moments - doing the grocery list, taking the dog out, just sitting with a coffee. All of it, the big outside world stuff and the home stuff are important and have a time and a place.
Relate to all of it -- especially the part where you're tempted to call out Abie even though you're doing what you actually want. I am VERY sensitive to fairness/inequity and trad roles. And I sometimes find myself picking something up on principle that I don't actually care about. And like, my hub is a feminist actually and not the enemy so my fear that somehow I am being subjected to something is unfounded when it comes to him. This notion of stopping to think first and be like -- wait but am I happy or unhappy and to say, he's not the enemy, he aint heavy he's my hubby -- this is only coming to me 14 years into a second marriage at age 51. So there you go. Thank you as always.
Yes! This is it exactly. I’m just coming to see and know it too and in fact I’m not even sure it would have been as clear to me if you didn’t break it down and say it back. So gratifying to see it resonate. Thanks as always for being so thoughtful and for engaging. It makes doing this SO satisfying.
XO thank you right back - very grateful