Leandra- you should read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It’s all about becoming aware and distancing yourself from your “phantom self”, the “brand” you’ve created over the years.
It could be winter, winters seem to get harder to handle the older I get. I crave the sun! But, the part of my soul that actually relates with all your lost feelings is the one that can vividly remember being a mom to little kids. There’s something consuming about this stage in life. And I’m afraid the only way back to yourself is to go through it.
I guess being a writer will affect the Stop thinking jut be. Like a bird. No thoughts No time just being. Then the little nuances of routine life and places become apparent and beautiful. I try to practice this when I remember to do so it’s not easy to be present all the time. Maybe when you’re done writing try to stop the thinking and embrace all your feelings. It is honest to have all of them and it is not wrong or right it just is 💕
Thank you for sharing this, it resonates so much. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to fix everything with my head and only recently started to tap into the wisdom and medicine my body has to offer. The body always knows the truth. And, being more connected to mine, accessing it more frequently over my head, has helped a lot.
I’m coming around tk this too. The most technical inconvenient truth it has presented is that drinking pulls me out of myself — it’s a bummer bc it’s a thing I look forward to at the end of the day often but not even actually because I enjoy it I think more because it’s a guidepost or thing to feel excitement towards when I’m in the dullness
Yes, I don’t drink but for me it’s chocolate or scrolling Instagram or binge watching a show. I have noticed though that if I spent the day hiding from myself I’ll usually go to these behaviors at night more eagerly. But if I’ve checked in with myself regularly and really stayed close to me, then I don’t need those things at night and am happy filling out my gratitude journal and going to bed.
I too, used to believe that 'wintering' was the respect for the cyclical nature of quiet, stillness, lack of resources – but recently I've reframed it as something closer to this dull impasse you speak of, the spiritual waiting room that I'd rather not be in. I try to respect that discomfort and accept that definition instead. Let's hope in our life's spring, the doors will start to open again.
Andrew Huberman is a neurologist and professor at Stanford. He also hosts one of my now favorite podcasts. They are packed with really incredible bits of science but he breaks it down in such a way that even a high schooler can understand (mine have listened to several episodes ).
Additionally, if you scroll down after each description, the conversation is time stamped so that you can just follow your interest.
Being a working mom doesn’t really get any easier. You just learn a few more tricks as the years progress. Be kind to yourself and know that life is a lot like a garden. There is a season of sleep and one of leaps. Both are required for growth.
I encountered this podcast somehow last week and book marked a couple of episodes. Thanks for resurfacing it (and for the kind words) - they weee like balm just now.
No you’re not wrong. I am and I think have always been prone to depression. Never clinically diagnosed but it seems right — I come in and out of bouts. They’re usually seasonal (winter and spring are hard for me) but I’ve been running everyday since Sunday and today was sunny. It helped!
I think coming out of the hole is usually harder for me than going into it. Something about the spring and the days getting longer and brighter and my wanting to connect but still feeling so isolated. I tried anti depressants last season actually, it wasn’t the right thing FOR ME I think there is usually an underlying mistruth I’m keeping from myself when these bouts return (it doesn’t happen every year) and I found the medication kept me almost at an arms length from myself? I also couldn’t sleep! Have you dealt with that?
Oh man no such thing with me. Just got carried away in whatever o was doing when your response came in! It has also been feeling a little less bleak. I think the sun coming out this week helped
I love this — it is the most straightforward medication recommendation for unexplained malaise. I also wish we could talk in person!! Would be fun. We can always do video chats on geneva. Does that just land too differently?
I second this. Thank you for writing. Keep including us. I look forward to your emails both the fun ones about clothes and these thoughtful ones about life. Keep writing.
Leandra- you should read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It’s all about becoming aware and distancing yourself from your “phantom self”, the “brand” you’ve created over the years.
Just started reading with a group of friends and we read one chapter a week and then listen to the companion podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-new-earth-awakening-to-your-lifes-purpose-chapter-1/id1458654443?i=1000434071830
Wow thank you for this. Going to give a listen. I’m so glad I published this today. So many exciting resources coming in
Yes. Nothing to say but same. The waiting room/hallway and strange inner struggle of logic and gut is strong these days.
Also, A New Earth is such an important read. Great rec from Sandra below! 😊
It could be winter, winters seem to get harder to handle the older I get. I crave the sun! But, the part of my soul that actually relates with all your lost feelings is the one that can vividly remember being a mom to little kids. There’s something consuming about this stage in life. And I’m afraid the only way back to yourself is to go through it.
I guess being a writer will affect the Stop thinking jut be. Like a bird. No thoughts No time just being. Then the little nuances of routine life and places become apparent and beautiful. I try to practice this when I remember to do so it’s not easy to be present all the time. Maybe when you’re done writing try to stop the thinking and embrace all your feelings. It is honest to have all of them and it is not wrong or right it just is 💕
Thank you for sharing this, it resonates so much. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to fix everything with my head and only recently started to tap into the wisdom and medicine my body has to offer. The body always knows the truth. And, being more connected to mine, accessing it more frequently over my head, has helped a lot.
I’m coming around tk this too. The most technical inconvenient truth it has presented is that drinking pulls me out of myself — it’s a bummer bc it’s a thing I look forward to at the end of the day often but not even actually because I enjoy it I think more because it’s a guidepost or thing to feel excitement towards when I’m in the dullness
Yes, I don’t drink but for me it’s chocolate or scrolling Instagram or binge watching a show. I have noticed though that if I spent the day hiding from myself I’ll usually go to these behaviors at night more eagerly. But if I’ve checked in with myself regularly and really stayed close to me, then I don’t need those things at night and am happy filling out my gratitude journal and going to bed.
i lovest you. truthest be told.
I too, used to believe that 'wintering' was the respect for the cyclical nature of quiet, stillness, lack of resources – but recently I've reframed it as something closer to this dull impasse you speak of, the spiritual waiting room that I'd rather not be in. I try to respect that discomfort and accept that definition instead. Let's hope in our life's spring, the doors will start to open again.
https://onbeing.org/programs/katherine-may-how-wintering-replenishes/
Love Krista Tippit. Haven’t listened to her podcast in a bit, going to give this a listen. Thank you
This kind of behavior DEFINITELY afflicts me...
Andrew Huberman is a neurologist and professor at Stanford. He also hosts one of my now favorite podcasts. They are packed with really incredible bits of science but he breaks it down in such a way that even a high schooler can understand (mine have listened to several episodes ).
Additionally, if you scroll down after each description, the conversation is time stamped so that you can just follow your interest.
You might find this one helpful:
https://hubermanlab.com/dr-samer-hattar-timing-light-food-exercise-for-better-sleep-energy-mood/
Being a working mom doesn’t really get any easier. You just learn a few more tricks as the years progress. Be kind to yourself and know that life is a lot like a garden. There is a season of sleep and one of leaps. Both are required for growth.
I encountered this podcast somehow last week and book marked a couple of episodes. Thanks for resurfacing it (and for the kind words) - they weee like balm just now.
No you’re not wrong. I am and I think have always been prone to depression. Never clinically diagnosed but it seems right — I come in and out of bouts. They’re usually seasonal (winter and spring are hard for me) but I’ve been running everyday since Sunday and today was sunny. It helped!
I think coming out of the hole is usually harder for me than going into it. Something about the spring and the days getting longer and brighter and my wanting to connect but still feeling so isolated. I tried anti depressants last season actually, it wasn’t the right thing FOR ME I think there is usually an underlying mistruth I’m keeping from myself when these bouts return (it doesn’t happen every year) and I found the medication kept me almost at an arms length from myself? I also couldn’t sleep! Have you dealt with that?
Oh man no such thing with me. Just got carried away in whatever o was doing when your response came in! It has also been feeling a little less bleak. I think the sun coming out this week helped
I love this — it is the most straightforward medication recommendation for unexplained malaise. I also wish we could talk in person!! Would be fun. We can always do video chats on geneva. Does that just land too differently?
I second this. Thank you for writing. Keep including us. I look forward to your emails both the fun ones about clothes and these thoughtful ones about life. Keep writing.
I second a Caroline Myss rec. She is amazing.
I do too. I used to listen to her CD's. 🙃
Thank you for another person to look into. Always open for more info to feed my brain and expand my thinking. 💛