Pregnant in clothes (part 1)

Thoughts on being a woman (and a shit ton of outfits, re: how to get dressed)

When I’m in the presence of women who are finished with this cycle of their lives — have either resolved they will not have more kids or that they will not have them at all, I am extremely aware of their power. There’s a sort of force that comes to a woman who is recognizing that she has her life back. That from here on out, there are no more breaks — no deliberating, no stopping, no physical surrender. This is it. It’s just her and her dreams with nothing but space to bridge in between. It is very intoxicating.

To be in the child bearing season of life is intoxicating in other ways: there’s a softness and fluidity and malleability about it. This is when the higher-self compassion and empathy we often refer to when addressing the feminine experience is cultivated. These are the earliest days that we give ourselves a shot at dreaming up, then truly building our own models of matriarchy. And that is not to be taken lightly.

But it also demands so much from the carrier. It slows her down in some ways, speeds her up in others, refocuses her energy and priorities, challenges her sense of self, and separates life into before and after. On balance, it is beautiful but one thing I have noticed this pregnancy that either I was not aware of or did not experience last time is how often I feel disconnected.

When I started shooting this story last week, I came to it feeling pretty frustrated. But over the course of making the story, I could feel threads reconnecting — it’s like putting the outfits together and then putting them on and fixing them up and making them work and finding a rendering of myself that felt honest and true and real and comforting shot me back inward. Empowered me to remember the force beneath, which never does die even when it feels like distant lore.

It made me wonder if the sense of disconnection has related to learning the grooves of a new body, if why I could reconnect was because of acceptance. And I had this tiny thought about how much I understand why more of us don’t feel the simple and joyous unlock of clothes — how confronting and frustrating they can be, but also how swiftly that can help us to free ourselves. What would it take for more of us to successfully bask in the small stakes daily ritual of finding (or returning to) ourselves through clothes?

Today’s post is broken up into two parts (the second part will publish next week). It’s separated by insights I’ve picked up while getting dressed. I guess you can call it a guide to dressing in pregnancy but because it is summer, I actually think the challenge is the same for us all: how do you stay cool and manage a way to look cool too?

It’s subjective, but I have some ideas — least not to try to get into the retired masseuse mindset…

Soeur bucket hat, The Row shirt and sneakers (like this colorway, on sale, too), Enza Costa pants (which I shortened)

Soeur bucket hat and shorts (from last year’s Cafe Leandra collab — these from Massimo Dutti are a great, tested alt), Gimaguas shirt (this one’s similar), Ancient Greek Sandals flip flops, Savette red clutch and Prada sunglasses

Part 1

Less is more but accessories can save you.

One thing I’ve been thinking about often: the irremovable accessories — like a hair texture or hair color or skin tone or tattoo — that we might not spend as much time factoring into how we think about getting dressed even though often they can make all the difference.

When you’re pregnant, the belly serves as its own central piece, and this makes taking a maximalist fashion risk less appealing. So the clothes get simpler, easier (which is a more universal condition of dressing when it gets really hot). But if a plain pair of shorts and a t-shirt (full stop) never cut it prenatally, they probably won’t do it now. So nailing the balance is about gently combining the accessories you’re going to add and the one that’s attached to you.

Q House of Basics shirt, H&M shorts (which are kind of a dead ringer for these from Acne; I did also just order these from Wranger), Manolo Blahnik sandals (the white stitching is key; but these are a good option too) and the sunglasses are The Row x Oliver Peoples, but Ray Bans (or these/these from Toteme) are a good option

Here for example you’ve got a classic linen shirt with cargo shorts (from H&M — they are a recent purchase inspired by a walk through midtown wherein it occurred to me that this is the summer of ugly walking shorts) and subtle sandals, then the long strand of pearls (wrapped x3) adds an element of glamour that gives a bit of fantasy to the rest of the look’s constitution.

Chanel pearls and black clutch (here’s a real one-two punch)

But any other bag (evening, leather, vintage, wtvr) and pearl strand will definitely do.

If it’s not about a necklace, it could be about an apron:

Same sunglasses as above, with a Soeur button down, Leset pants, rubber flip flops and an apron from Talea Studio (here are a couple more vintage options from Etsy)

I’m not letting this one go without a fight — aprons are coming for us! A fine way to add a flourish to a simple look of breathable pants and shirt, and I suspect it will look way better when I have a waist again, can tie it up higher and style it more like a peplum. If I were you, I’d wear it like that, possibly with a skimpy tank top tucked into the apron, and maybe the breathable shirt styled over as a shacket.

Clare V bag, styled with an Emma Milne Watson charm

Here’s also the bag — busy with its heavy chain and the add of a playful keychain. One more flourish that doesn’t interfere much with the rest of the looks simplicity.

The next accessory: here’s how to think of wearing a hat —

Pardo Hats crochet hat, lest you’re feeling really luxurious

Go big or leave completely!

Bevza beaded tank — there is a Bode energy about it, but you also have to see this Michael Kors-era Celine one I just found on TRR, Gimaguas white pants (just throwing it out here again that these are on sale), Repetto satin lace up ballet flats

I’m just kidding, stick around, but one thing I’ll say about this one is: staying within the neutral palette of black and white inclined me further to get weird with the hat. Also, this top is made entirely of beads even though it looks mesh. I haven’t quite figured out what to put under it (mostly because it bothers my nipples) but I love how it looks against soft flimsy pants and the width of the arm holes, which flatter my arms.

A less effusive hat:

Soeur bucket hat, Leset coat, Frances de Lourdes blue tank, Cafe Leandra x Soeur white pants, Havaianas flip flops

Lastly, here’s a one and done way to let the accessories be the look without also competing with the key accessory:

Nue Notes dress, K. Jacques/Doen sandals

Caftan with flip flops and fancy jewelry.

The earrings are Viltier; here is a comp. The necklace chain is Adina Reyter, the pendants are Renato Cipullo. Something like this works too

Bring out the chandeliers, add a necklace that’s loud. Pretend it’s the ‘60s and you’re in Morocco with Yves.

Onwards —

Summer trench coats are like a security blanket

I can’t overstate this one enough. I fully believe the summer trench can be a universal thing. It’s easy coverage when you want to feel but not necessarily look naked and serves as a unique kind of security blanket when you’re in the vulnerable state of 🤰🏻.

Kallmeyer jacket, Kule ‘Wynn’ t-shirt, Tory Burch skirt, The Row mesh flats (on sale in beige and black here); I don’t think you need the jellies if you have a pair nlike these

Here for example I’m dressed in a plain tee with a tiny skirt only half way zipped up with a single ply taffeta coat styled over but you’d never know it. Part of why I love this solution too is because it’s a beautiful way to conceal your back side.

A butt view, styled with Kallmeyer pants (good alt) and Khaite sandals

This coat in partic (Kallmeyer) has really been a hero of the past few weeks. Ideal over grey bike shorts, a white tee and fisherman shoes but also darling styled with flair:

The same coat with a silk tank from Salon Reading, skirt from Eliou (also stumbled across this and Wales Bonner on sale here) and fisherman shoes from Grenson (I like the new red ones)

And not:

Styled here with a Courreges tank top (on sale now, and also comes in black and green; I like the matching shorts a lot too), Solid and Striped pants and gold jazz shoes from Renate Jacob. These sunglasses are By Malene Birger

If you want more structure or color, dw, I have a solution:

Luuda tie dye summer trench, Loulou Studio grey high neck tank, Prada skirt (you get a similar vibe just without the tail with something like this), Jamie Haller sandals

Hello, dolly! It’s me, Leandra. Notice that I’m wearing exactly zero accessories save for the sunglasses which actually ground the look. (And, fine, the fish pin I affixed to the summer trench.)

These sunglasses are from Oliver Peoples too (got them during a TRR cateye search). The shape on these from Linda Farrow is similar. The fish pin on the coat is from Merci, C’est Vintage (I found one for you on Ebay if you want to match)

Imagined another way (with men’s style swim shorts or boxers, a silhouette I’d imagine many of us have):

Same coat (here’s another cool one for under $300) styled with Prada sunglasses, The Row’s comb necklace (try this one from Shtor), a silk Khaite tank (it’s on sale and there are more colorways here), Alex Mill shorts (mine are a size small) and Emme Parsons sandals

Here’s an ivory silk top to match (the color combo feels very The Row right now), with simple black sandals (Emme Parsons) and a pendant on a leather black chord to tie back to the shoes and anchor the rest of the look’s whimsy.

Khaite suede shirt jacket, Flore Flore v-neck tank, Donni pants (this is them ribbed), Havaianas flip flops

Here’s also just something I wore last week that made me feel like a million bucks. Interior pajamas (eg layers of fine weave cotton) that feel more dressy because of the overarching suede shirt (which doesn’t have to be suede btw — the same one comes in a myriad of options). And then there is something to the flip flops too, which christen the casual nature of the look, especially because of the yellow detailing.

The logo/flag ones are my pref

Last one from this series:

Old Celine trench coat (it was cheaper at retail, but two good deals from the same family: one, two), High Sport polo (but maybe I can interest you in the one from my collab with Soeur), Ciao Lucia shorts (I also want to try these from Kule), Louboutin sandals

Originally wanted to give this one to you with Leset’s Kyoto coat, which I bought, but it had not arrived by the day of this shoot, so I went with a proper rain coat. The key features are the tiny knit shorts styled with the boyish polo, made more feminine on account of the shoes —

I got the shoes from Matches — they are 55% off there. These have a similar vibe, but they aren’t as refined. The necklace is a Pisces pendant that my brother made for me when my girls were born. I’m wearing it looped through a black shoe lace.

Funny thing about these shoes: I bought them last summer but returned them because I concluded that my style skews too tacky in the summer for the shoes to serve as a foil. Then Becky bought them this year and her style (Americana! Unfussy khaki!) kind of transformed my idea of how I could wear them. Sometimes it takes friend-context to come back around to a thing.

Actually, I have one more look. Once the Leset coat did arrive, the flood gates opened, and while I have to say my favorite way to style it has been with last summer’s Cafe L x Soeur shorts and heels, wearing a plain mini dress under has no doubt been the easiest.

Sefle Studios hat (you really can’t see much in it), Leset summer trench, Ciao Lucia dress (it sold out, but she will work — or there are some great vintage linens on Etsy here), Polo Ralph Lauren belt, Ancient Greek Sandals

Sometimes adding a belt is a nice way to feel like you’re further, but not too distantly further, accessorized.

Elastic waist pants are it: style them with something roomy

I defer to last summer’s uniform. What worked then still completely works now (the magic of drawstring pants is that they’re the jelly fish of clothing categories in that they expand and contract) but two updates for this summer for potentially dressier -codes:

Old Celine top or dress or whatever you think it is (my heart is with this one now), Enza Costa pants (here’s one alt from Leset and another from Ref — I shortened mine to hit above ankle), Louboutin sandals

These are the silk pants from Enza Costa that I told you about — I had them shortened so they’d expose more ankle, which is a balance you need when you’re layering big over big.

A good rule of thumb is to keep at least one of the smallest/most feminine parts of yourself exposed (in this instance, ankles and wrists are both out; in another I might choose to expose my collar bones. Those are the 3 key areas).

Delarge sunglasses (but I can’t say enough good things about these wild n crazy ones from Prada, which are $575 at the store…but $330 on Cettire), By Malene Birger shirt, Maccapani pants (55% off here), K. Jacques/Doen sandals

If one variable of your look is pretty extra just as these pants are, you’ll want to neuter the rest of the outfit, which is why I went with subtle wood-sole flip flops (so they’re casual but not like, rubber-casual) and a khaki button down shirt, also big!

Clare V bag, Rabanne bracelets (gold, silver), Paola Sighinolfi croissant ring

I had fun with the jewelry to tie back to the pants and in particular to make me feel more Italian. Nothing like a giant chain to get the job done.

Okay, this is it for part 1, but come back for part 2. We’re talking pajamas, leggings as pants and when tight clothes are the better option. It’s good! Possibly better. I defer to this teaser, which will be waiting for you, as proof:

Signing off yours,

Leandra