Good morning! How was your holiday break? Your New Years? Did you ~set any intentions~? One of the big ones for me is cultivating more meaningful female friendships. I have a few that are really special, but I think they’re more a function of happenstance because the friends in question demand the kind of precious respect that a true female bond needs, so I go along with it. It has only just occurred to me in fact that I don’t think I have actually known what it is to be a friend until very recently. Will be exploring this more over the next few months to be sure.
The other things that have been on my mind: regret and dopamine hits. When I was doing the market work for this newsletter yday, I encountered a number of sequined/gold things and they gave me a sour feeling in the pit of my stomach, the same one I get the morning after I have overdosed on sugar or had one more drink than I knew was good for me. It was interesting because my thesis this season has been DON’T BUY CLOTHES FOR HOLIDAY/NYE PARTIES, but still it bothered me, I think, to see the occassion-specific clothes hanging around the internet, awaiting their ill-fated markdowns and then, who knows what from there.
It got me thinking about thematic clothes and how out of date they can seem immediately after the theme has gone. How the reaction to indulging in (that is buying into) specific occasions (like Christmas or New Years) elicits the same reaction that an addictive pattern might in that makes you feel like you are possessed by a power greater than your own sense of what’s actually good for you. This isn’t to say don’t buy festive things, but it is to examine whether you’re buying something because you like it/want it or because you think you need it for some reason outside of yourself.
I bet the same thing happens when you shop fast fashion to wear something to an event once and then know you’ll never wear it again. If this feeling (the sour pit one) ever takes you over (have been there!) — that sort of “can’t look at you again bc I’m so disgusted,” it might mean that there is room for introspect/psychological surgery.
The other thing: I recently assembled a new pile of giveaway/sell bags and realized that the dopamine hit you get from clearing out your closet is almost exactly the same as (maybe a little better than) the one you get from shopping, which has totally provoked my wanting to evaluate where else I can find a rush of happy adrenaline hiding in healthy places.
To this note, I’ll be selling a lot of my clothes at the physical Club Vintage space near the seaport at the end of the month! (Jan. 26) — will keep you posted on this, and hope you can make it over.
Now without ado: a boatload of words on the titular sweaters, which you can hopefully find when you’re next meandering through the spoils of your existing clothes. It’s good to be back!
I spent a lot of time last winter trying to find a good alternative to jeans but found myself coming up short for a number of reasons that I pegged to: the durability of the alternative pants, how they paired with shoes and what they brought to the outfit but one thing I didn’t consider at all was the northernmost region of the outfit, which is silly when I think about it now because if you’re the kind of dresser who likes to create contrast in your looks by espousing the principles of several different vibes and the shoes are a lost cause on account of the limitations imposed by the weather, the key feature of what will make a pair of pants good is the sweater you pair them with.
Can you believe that whole thing was one sentence?
Maybe, for example, trousers you’d wear to work with a Top (capital T!) could be great weekend warriors with the right sweater — not as put together as a cashmere (or even wool, just finely bonded) knit a la this and definitely not as fine as a thin layer of merino a la this. What I’m envisioning is equal parts chunky and rugged, which brings me to the thesis here: a classic fisherman knit could be the whole thing of it.
Or, you know what? I don’t actually think it has to be as literal as a fisherman’s knit but it does have to feel like it is the opposite of PRECIOUS. (Mohair works too)
So figure a heavy yarn knit — it bonds over time and pills in what seems like an intentional way that looks pretty rugged and because of this, it does the same thing that a pair of jeans can do to an otherwise precious look — toning it down and toughening it up.
Here, for example, is Toteme’s speckled country knit paired with grey suit trousers you might wear to work. I added grey socks and a pair of satin ballet flats to create a more durable canvas for surprise, but any pair of actually-durable shoes/boots (in particular, in fact, the kind for inclement weather would be great here) could work. Then I tied the tiger print toiletry kit-as-bag in for consistency against the off-color shoes. Same formula imagined one other way:
But you don’t even necessarily have to be wearing suit pants/trousers. It could work with jeans:
Or a mini skirt
Come to think of it now though, maybe this sweater type also makes wearing non-pants more feasible, reasonable, etc.
Here, too, are some bike shorts
Back to pants though, corduroys:
The world is kind of your oyster here. Which is actually, honestly, the real reason I feel strongly about recommending you reconsider (or consider) the thick-yarn knit — it goes with everything much the same way a pair of jeans would, and could add that element of surprise to any look.
This oatmeal v-neck is a pretty good one to carry you through the Spring and I especially like the shape because it’s pretty wide, but also cropped enough to let hang over your pants, but not so cropped that it looks awkward. Am also always trying to reveal a sliver of t-shirt, some sign of life beneath the huge knit, and the v-neck makes it really easy to execute on that deliverable.
The key thing I’d say is being intentional about creating the contrast — you’ll notice when I paired the sweater with jeans, I went one degree far on the accessories front. Stockings and patent leather slingbacks on one hand, strappy wedges with gold hardware on the other. (This is all in the captions, just mentioning again in case you prefer it laid out here too.)
What I like most about this overall rec is that you likely don’t have to buy a new sweater to make it work — there’s got to be an itchy wool knit lying somewhere in your ether, no?
But if you need a few references, with material descriptions and all, I first suggest checking out L.L. Bean
Or Etsy — the heavy durable wool on these kinds of sweaters is actually one of the few knit weaves that seem to get better with age, so surveying the vintage offering first makes sense. And if that’s not for you, the luxury pick is no q this Toteme one:
With Babaa in at close second.
Then tbh, I’ve been wearing the Carlota Cahis one like hell, but it’s for a little more spice.
If you’re looking for luxury in the way of price that reflects quality and quality that reflects authentic artisanry, the Danish brand Skall Studios practically specializes in this. The one thing I’ll say though: itchy is itchy. Full stop.
Finally, I teased this above in one of the captions — the part about jewelry with the rest of the look. What I’ll say for now is that so long as you’re going for a similar balance as demonstrated in most of the above, you’ll want to add or eliminate jewelry from the precious category accordingly. Using your wrists as accent points is the easiest way to get it right — try a gold chain like this, a shiny one like this, a delicate watch if you have one and if your ratios are overwhelmingly rugged-to-soft, pearls are the easiest add. Lately, I like them more in the ears than I do on the neck, but that is personal preference. I’ll break this whole science down at some point this winter but for now, I gtg.
Signing off yours,
Leandra
I think you just might be right, Leandra. The chunky gauge of the yarn is a great foil to more feminine pieces like the white pleated skirt, or more refined "work" trousers. It's also why i think a fisherman's sweater works off of velvet or with ribbons and lace (ala Simone Rocha), right? Fascinating analysis of a pressing issue of our time!
That oatmeal sweater. 👌 Also pairing with the mini skirt and fisherman shoes are a styling match I did not see coming and now it just makes so much sense.
In regards to female friendships, I find if you are a friend to yourself first, then the right ones come in and the others fall away. Just having a few is I think the healthiest so it sounds like you are doing it right, though the intention of cultivating more is definitely a good thing. Can't wait to read what more you have to say on the topic.
I have mentioned nostalgia before and am working on my own pieces about past friendships where I have found in my 29th and now my 39th last year, the past, especially relationships seem to come back in full force (Saturn Return). Maybe a test, though I think the pandemic had a lot of people thinking back to the good old days and eventually it got me too. though for everything I look at rose colored glasses these days, that time I do not, maybe during I did? 🙃 I will say I never really looked at them as the good old days until recently. Getting back on topic, I have found the friends I was a good friend to came back remembering that, though they were not able to be a good friend to me presently, the way I needed. Even though they tried, and in reflection maybe they never were. Fun yes, good friend, probably not entirely. Don't get me wrong, there were times when they were there for me and supporting me. In my growth and just general life path, I have better boundaries and expectations. I just say this as being a better friend only matters if they are able to reciprocate being a good friend too. 💛