What do moms really wear with Sarah Corbett-Winder
The mom of 3 on committing to an optimistic outlook
What Do Moms Really Wear is a series that captures the process of getting dressed among moms. If you would like to nominate someone for this series, comment on this e-mail with their name and handle. To see the last edition with Simone Parchment, click here.
Up today: Sarah Corbett-Winder, the stylist who run her own fashion label and lives in Northwest London with her 3 kids.
The morning routine
I get up first at, let’s say, 6/6:30 a.m. and work out for half an hour on my own. (It’s a virtual class and 30-minutes is enough!). This is my special time without anyone disturbing me, and I really need that — I have to have the first bit of time in the morning to myself.
Then I’ll make a miso soup, this is a new routine I’ve just started and it’s pretty simple, I just pour a packet of the soup into a cup and take it upstairs then have a shower. By now it’s about 7:30 a.m. and the kids start getting up.
My idea of hell is being rushed so I like to have had a shower by the time my [older] kids are waking up, then we get the youngest one up last. We have breakfast all together at the table around 8 a.m. with my husband. We try to do this everyday and then he takes the kids to school on a trike.
[The breakfast menu] will rotate between cereals, pancakes, eggs, berries and I try to make sure I always have time to do it, otherwise it can get manic. I really feel like the key is to give yourself time to do something. It gets too crazy when you give yourself 3 minutes to get something done that actually takes 10 minutes and especially in the morning, which is the start of all of our days, you don’t want it to be stressful and when its not, it is such nice family time.
I work from home, so my office is here but I am rarely home for the whole day — I’ll take the dog for a walk, have a meeting out, but even if I am home, I’ll put on an outfit. Typically I get dressed before going down for breakfast. I struggle to sit in a tracksuit or pajamas and want to be ready for the day with my kids as well. Somehow being dressed first thing helps me feel like I am more in charge, can accomplish more. And I think it sets a good precedent for kids.
It feels good to have had a moment to think about what to wear and clothes can make you feel really good. I definitely wouldn’t feel as ready for their or my day if I did the morning in pajamas.
My older kids (Lyon who is 6 and Nancy who is 4) wear school uniforms, so that is easy. With my daughter, Nancy, there will be some conversation around her hair: does she want bunches or a hairband? As far as actually working, I don’t start to connect/use my phone until they’re off to school, which is around 8:20 a.m. when they’re out the door. Some days the baby (Celeste, 2) goes to nursery. Some days she stays home.
I love dressing in one color, and I love wearing red at the moment. It’s a great color to make outfit pop (as you know) but it’s also pretty special in full. This suit is defined by me and I’ve paired it with a polo beck and red striped shirt — items I go to often in my wardrobe. Then the shoes are something comfortable.
I add the hat in for an element of casual — just so I’m not judged by the other moms at school! There’s a thing in England, a discrepancy between the working moms and those who don’t. And there is always a bit of the moms looking at the other moms and passing judgments.
I won’t start the day in the hat, but I usually put it on towards the end of the day, almost to signify that I’m switching into the next stage of the day — which is when I pick my kids up from school. I find with being a mom that I need to know what I’m doing at the time — am I working, or am I being a mom? I have to create these mental boundaries so I can show up in the right role and clothes help me with this.
My husband goes into an office everyday so I am definitely the more flexible parent but that is also how I want it. I want to be around for the kids. But he gets his time in the mornings with them which is so nice. He’s quite calm and levelheaded and adds an element of levity. He speaks to the kids on the banana phone. It makes them smile every time. He’s just got a happy outlook.
What to wear on the weekend
I’m going to be honest with you, coordination with my kids is important to me. It’s not as easy with my daughter whose got her own sense of taste but my son doesn’t care much what he wears.
We certainly negotiate, and she has to have creative input. Clothes are so much what I’m about — they’re an important part of my existence. They’re a portal of joy to me. Armor, the first presentation of what people see of us. I used to do some personal shopping and wardrobe visits and there is so much psychology about it. So many women are so terrified about getting dressed, and the process is like making a painting for me. You add that necklace, or that pair of earrings. It starts completely blank and you build on methodically.
It makes me quite upset, actually, to think that people are afraid of it, or even that they’ve convinced themselves they just don’t like it. How lucky to enjoy this first interaction you have with yourself in a day as opposed to dreading it.
On the weekends, we love to have a slow Saturday morning — rolling out of bed later and having breakfast and then we’ll typically go somewhere. That family time on the weekend is so nice. You can stop, get a cup of coffee, go to the cinema on the way home if you please.
We went to a kids museum in east London [on the day these photos were taken], it was an unplanned trip and it ended up being so lovely. It’s great to involve the kids too and let them make choices about how the day unfolds. They love to do a trip like this then come home and play.
My son loves lego, my daughter loves to pretend she’s putting on makeup or she’ll play with her barbies and bunnies. She does a lot of imaginative play. Listening to it is so sweet. Sometimes we’ll hear both of the kids pretending to be us.
I wear the pouch around me so I can be hands free and think that for the most part, I tend to subconsciously go against the grain of wearing what you’re supposed to wear as a mom. I think this is because I’m that slightly destructive person who likes to rebel.
Although the faux leather trousers here are elevated but casual so they fit in for a day with the kids pretty seamlessly. Still, they’re nice. Which is important to me — we’re going out for the day! Let’s make an effort and present ourselves nicely! Respect ourselves, you know, and have that reflect on the environment.
Getting dressed really can unlock so much power in one’s personal life, but it is nuanced and it does take effort. You have to get up a little earlier for it.
Mom’s night out
Some weekend evenings we’ll stay in with the kids, they’ll stay up a little late and maybe we’ll watch a movie, but I also like getting out. The combo is what feels best.
When I go out with my husband, I find I’ll always wear something I wouldn’t wear with my children. It’s putting another hat on, which is liberating. I certainly wouldn’t wear this outfit for a Saturday with my kids.
I like going out in a pair of glasses, I think its the barrier they present — I never used to wear them, but I feel, I guess, protected in them. And the yellow lens makes it feel like I am in a floatier world. The color tint is soft on the eyes.
Yeah, I guess the glasses are like another layer of armor. I’m not sure what it is with me and the armor — maybe this is a boundary thing? Protecting oneself, putting on your costume in some respect. “This is the version of me I’m going to share with you tonight, the character I choose to be,” or something like that. When I’m going to a meeting, I know I want to feel more professional and confident and I dress to that and in helps. I guess I do this for all occasions.
I like the masculinity of this look, but the unexpectedness of the trousers. I kept it classic in black and white, and the tie is such an opposite to the trousers. I like that. A more provocative shirt would have felt like too much for me.
On a typical night out we will usually go for drinks and dinner. The weeks can be so busy and [my husband and I] don’t really get proper quality time together so when we do go out to connect, it feels so good. And also crucial — the more we are connected, the easier it is to parent.
It becomes a shit-show when you’re not united, you know?
We’ve been married for ten years — we met when I was 18 and dated for a month and then went our separate ways for ten years until we crossed paths again and got married 6 months later. It was deifnitely hard in the beginning — we barely knew each other! But we made it work.
Mom rage, anger management and the gift of laughing
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