Ah, the aspects of masculine and femine. That definitely seemed to be my theme for last year as well, and I have never really thought about it so prominently. Thank you for always sharing your perspective with such vulnerability, as I digest my own perspective and experiences. It has been a journey I did not expect. This year. That's the reward and goal, the journey, though I have never felt so pushed and tested. I grew up competing in dance and piano before I was ten years old so that is saying a lot. Ready for a new one.
I liked how you described the rush of a good time in the celebration of the holidays, and even life itself. For me, instead of anticipating the comedown of the fun, I have found myself riding the good times effortlessly and when an unexpected obstacle or bump hit, which honestly by now I have things pretty handled so they have been so unexpected and I think, was that it? Was that the best? Is it all downhill from here? In a very situational and benign way. Not in a big picture disastrous way. Or even, is this too good? Should I have been more grateful and present? Or was I so present in something else I did not pay more attention to something I should have? That has happened at least three times this year, maybe more, so I am sure the answer is a big "No". Though I have never been so critical and worried before. While simultaneously carrying big DGAF energy. I need a haircut, my brows are grown out and I am definitely at the tail end of a spiritual awakening. I look so different I get told my Drivers License is a fake ID. No joke. Also, no work done, yet. That's not even a flex. It's just wild.
I also find myself aimlessly sharing past stories, discovering that they were quite magical, unique, and special experiences that not a lot of people have. When I was in them, I knew I was having fun and that they were good times, even through all the hard work, though I never felt like it was a life that not too many people experience if that makes sense. A big growth moment for me this year has been to stop apologizing or excusing it in some way. It was all building me into someone that can handle and receive more I think. To lead and help others, I know I am not alone in this. It is a collective feeling. Looking back, my theme and reflection is gratitude and even though all those times were special and magical, and honestly hard at times, maybe the best is still on it's way and it is okay to let go of the great to let in the greater. The struggle is the hesitation to just embrace it all.
Thanks for always letting me ramble on. 😘💛
Happy wishes for the rest of the holiday season to you and your beautiful family. I look forward to more conversations and growth in our perspectives next year. All the love and beyond.
I can't articulate the extent to which I understand what you are experiencing, although I will offer that the sort of stringing through stories of past and finding magic within them is all part of whatever your awakening has been like. I recall that in 2018, 6 or so months after my girls were born, I posted a photo to Instagram just before New Years with the caption, "2018 brought me back to life." I think all the time since then has been a growth period learning curve and now at the end of 2022, I feel like this is the year I starting living life. Thank you as always for being here. If I can be so upfront, I think about you sometimes while I'm writing these stories -- it gives me courage to say the things that I worry no one will understand. So, really, thank you <3
Dec 23, 2022·edited Dec 28, 2022Liked by Leandra Medine Cohen
Not to be sappy, though I think we both give each other courage inadvertently and that is so precious to me. I don't even know what to say other than I want to cuddle this response like a warm hug? Thank you just does not seem to suffice. As I grasp at how to articulate how supported and honored that makes me feel that I can give that not only to someone else, though to someone who gave that to me and others long before you knew I existed
I love our sharing and I honestly feel like I have lived a full life. I have felt that for a while and have been focused on work and my little life and been pretty satisfied, honestly. I think I would be okay if I ended up not having children though I think I will, if that makes sense. I am intuitive. It can be a double edged sword. I do have a bucket list and a five year plan. With or without marriage and kids. Though like I said, I think it's coming whether I like it or not, though I am sure I will love it.
I have been pretty focused and decisive in what I want and this year the universe has been consistently saying to me "just kidding, this is what you need" and it is so outside of my comfort zone it's so weird and scary. Like I said, spiritual awakening. 😂
I am a very private person so I joke that I am not even one to share like this, though it just keeps rolling out of my mouth sometimes, usually as an explanation, and then I get an "oh?" or " what? " etc.. And I wish that I could rewind or erase. Like, oh that's not normal. I am blessed in a way I did not expect. Mainly in experiences and skills, not necessarily material. I think material is relative. Living and working among affluence it can skew a perspective I think, though I am not bothered by it. My perspective has gone from I am not one of them to I do not care if you think I am. We all have things to work through and struggle with. There is always a balance I have learned. Yup, spiritual awakening. Though that being said, story telling is how we connect with others and the world. I am working on my own stories to publish so hopefully I can get them in a way I feel ready to share in my voice. It is truly such a gift to be able to do so and I love this forum so much.
Really just thank you Leandra for saying the things aloud most of us are afraid to speculate.
Ah, the aspects of masculine and femine. That definitely seemed to be my theme for last year as well, and I have never really thought about it so prominently. Thank you for always sharing your perspective with such vulnerability, as I digest my own perspective and experiences. It has been a journey I did not expect. This year. That's the reward and goal, the journey, though I have never felt so pushed and tested. I grew up competing in dance and piano before I was ten years old so that is saying a lot. Ready for a new one.
I liked how you described the rush of a good time in the celebration of the holidays, and even life itself. For me, instead of anticipating the comedown of the fun, I have found myself riding the good times effortlessly and when an unexpected obstacle or bump hit, which honestly by now I have things pretty handled so they have been so unexpected and I think, was that it? Was that the best? Is it all downhill from here? In a very situational and benign way. Not in a big picture disastrous way. Or even, is this too good? Should I have been more grateful and present? Or was I so present in something else I did not pay more attention to something I should have? That has happened at least three times this year, maybe more, so I am sure the answer is a big "No". Though I have never been so critical and worried before. While simultaneously carrying big DGAF energy. I need a haircut, my brows are grown out and I am definitely at the tail end of a spiritual awakening. I look so different I get told my Drivers License is a fake ID. No joke. Also, no work done, yet. That's not even a flex. It's just wild.
I also find myself aimlessly sharing past stories, discovering that they were quite magical, unique, and special experiences that not a lot of people have. When I was in them, I knew I was having fun and that they were good times, even through all the hard work, though I never felt like it was a life that not too many people experience if that makes sense. A big growth moment for me this year has been to stop apologizing or excusing it in some way. It was all building me into someone that can handle and receive more I think. To lead and help others, I know I am not alone in this. It is a collective feeling. Looking back, my theme and reflection is gratitude and even though all those times were special and magical, and honestly hard at times, maybe the best is still on it's way and it is okay to let go of the great to let in the greater. The struggle is the hesitation to just embrace it all.
Thanks for always letting me ramble on. 😘💛
Happy wishes for the rest of the holiday season to you and your beautiful family. I look forward to more conversations and growth in our perspectives next year. All the love and beyond.
xx
I can't articulate the extent to which I understand what you are experiencing, although I will offer that the sort of stringing through stories of past and finding magic within them is all part of whatever your awakening has been like. I recall that in 2018, 6 or so months after my girls were born, I posted a photo to Instagram just before New Years with the caption, "2018 brought me back to life." I think all the time since then has been a growth period learning curve and now at the end of 2022, I feel like this is the year I starting living life. Thank you as always for being here. If I can be so upfront, I think about you sometimes while I'm writing these stories -- it gives me courage to say the things that I worry no one will understand. So, really, thank you <3
Not to be sappy, though I think we both give each other courage inadvertently and that is so precious to me. I don't even know what to say other than I want to cuddle this response like a warm hug? Thank you just does not seem to suffice. As I grasp at how to articulate how supported and honored that makes me feel that I can give that not only to someone else, though to someone who gave that to me and others long before you knew I existed
I love our sharing and I honestly feel like I have lived a full life. I have felt that for a while and have been focused on work and my little life and been pretty satisfied, honestly. I think I would be okay if I ended up not having children though I think I will, if that makes sense. I am intuitive. It can be a double edged sword. I do have a bucket list and a five year plan. With or without marriage and kids. Though like I said, I think it's coming whether I like it or not, though I am sure I will love it.
I have been pretty focused and decisive in what I want and this year the universe has been consistently saying to me "just kidding, this is what you need" and it is so outside of my comfort zone it's so weird and scary. Like I said, spiritual awakening. 😂
I am a very private person so I joke that I am not even one to share like this, though it just keeps rolling out of my mouth sometimes, usually as an explanation, and then I get an "oh?" or " what? " etc.. And I wish that I could rewind or erase. Like, oh that's not normal. I am blessed in a way I did not expect. Mainly in experiences and skills, not necessarily material. I think material is relative. Living and working among affluence it can skew a perspective I think, though I am not bothered by it. My perspective has gone from I am not one of them to I do not care if you think I am. We all have things to work through and struggle with. There is always a balance I have learned. Yup, spiritual awakening. Though that being said, story telling is how we connect with others and the world. I am working on my own stories to publish so hopefully I can get them in a way I feel ready to share in my voice. It is truly such a gift to be able to do so and I love this forum so much.
xx
my creativity, hence travel more
Brava, bravo, and here's to continued observation, reflection, and growth-- among and within us all.
Beautiful essay, I have nothing to add but appreciation. I think I’ll go read it again. Cheers and Happy New Year!
Same to you Hava <3
How are you finding the void this week? Have you taken any pleasure in it at all?