Letter of Rec #088: It's cool to copy your friends

Grips to make your shoe/tight combos work, great Massimo Dutti pants and exactly one thought on Chanel's new artistic director

I went to a party last Saturday night dressed in the sequined St. John set shown in Tuesday’s letter, with sheer black tights and these shoes.

To offset slippery-slip-slopping, I took a pair of rubbery nipple covers I originally got to wear under a sheer tank top to a wedding and stuck them, adhesive side down, into the slope of the shoe, which to my surprise, totally worked.

Then it occurred to me that I could probably just get those grippy sheets that come on a roll, which they use in pilates or cutlery drawers to prevent sliding. Then I could cut them into the shape of an insole and stick them in my shoes. Pretty sure this is the best and most effective way to solve the problem of socks and heels.

Why a cool brand like Swedish Stockings has not yet made a pair of tights with grips on the bottom, I don’t know, but consider this recommendation no.1: Powergrips to wear under your tights-laden feet.

Meanwhile, I’m turning 36 next Friday and this jade nautilus/sterling silver sugar bowl, a literal container for sweetness, feels like exactly the right, buyable metaphor to ring it in for myself. Including it here just in case you want to give it (not to me! See: the holidays) too. But let’s move on dressing tendencies:

I am hot on tassels lately.

By Malene Birger poncho (it’s great over a simple coat), Le Sundial necklace

Finally got the Sundial necklace I’ve been telling you about since the stone age and it too is an instant outfit maker to the extent that it affords a pretty boring look a nice dash of antique-French-furniture-whimsy — making it weird without making it weird, if that makes any sense.

Layers of tassels styled with a Cashmere in Love black turtleneck (this one makes the best turtleneck hair), Alex Mill cargo pants and pony hair shoes from The Row

A rebel-without-a-cause inclination towards minimalism

You know what though is that I think generally speaking, as the idea of embracing one’s “freak” pushes more centrally into the zeitgeist, the rebel-without-a-cause in me is inclined to relax back into minimalism with straightforward silhouettes in boring colors amplified only by the miniature twist that a tassel necklace or weird hat, or belt-over-coat gives to a look.

So much ivory and navy lately too; this is the Casasola sweater styled over a silk Polo shirt with the same Giuliva Heritage ‘Laura’ trousers I always wear (but the Callas ones come in navy too, and there is still stock)

The problem with introducing a concept like unleashing one’s inner freak into popular culture through a medium like fashion is that ultimately, fashion is a commercial enterprise. It’s supposed to be packaged in an appealing, digestible way for public consumption, but when we attempt to commodify originality, what we end up with are these visual ideas that totally miss/negate the point of genuine weirdness.

I’m not saying this cynically. I love fashion, and obviously see the value in breaking down esoteric ideas, if only because it makes them more understandable (to me too), and I believe in sharing what you know, in touching as many people as desire the depth.

But I do wonder, if we all become the black sleep, isn’t it more counterculture to herd with the rest of the sheep, which is now just the one? So I guess lately, I’m inclined to revisit the norminess but to give it a little something.

Like a canvas bucket hat at 30 degrees, with By Malene Birger’s wool ‘Dalimas’ coat

Same hat with an old shearling coat (a different vibe, but love this one from TR), plain black t-neck, Cos sweater, Giuliva Heritage’s ‘Laura’ pants and St. Agni sunglasses

Maybe the thing really is just that I like to stand out. It’s funny to think that to stand out the gateway could be a palette of neutrals.

Anyway, one small kink that got me through a pretty rainy stretch in New York last week was styling a canvas bucket hat into a winter outfit. There is something off but also subtle about wearing one with winter clothes. More so than with a straw hat, which feels almost too obvious now. It’s like the outerwear equivalent of spinning a summer-y caftan into a winter look.

By Malene Birger dress, and these/these are a good black boots if you are in the market; these are just good. Also saw these on Brie Welch last week and have been thinking about them since

Though let me tell you, I am here for the winter caftan.

It’s cool to copy your friends

Meanwhile, I just got these boots.

St. John jacket (more like a knit, tbh) tucked into Jeanerica jeans with a Khaite belt and the Marsell boots

See what I mean about navy and ivory? Jacket and shirt both from Kallmeyer (the shirt comes with the tie, but is removable so you can style with other tops or just wear this one without it), Re/done jeans, Marsell boots

I saw them on my friend Tal last week and pretty much bought them on contact. I’m so hot on the square toe, which could be a result of the Prada effect (see: these), though Matthieu Blazy has been dancing this dance with Bottega for years.

An interlude for Blazy’s Chanel

What do you think of the news that he’s going to Chanel? To me, part of what makes the house so good is that it exists in its own category completely — adjacent to fashion but not of it. Societally crucial and zeitgeist impartial.

This is one of my favorite things about Chanel, that it makes its own culture. What Blazy does really is create fashion zeitgeist. His ideas take time to resonate, but once they do, they also spread like wildfire and become what everyone wants to wear. His talent is similar to that of Phoebe Philo (who he worked under at Celine) in that its so all-consuming that even if you think you’re opting out, there is such a high likelihood that whatever you’re wearing from whoever made it got to be as a result of a moodboard that featured his work.

I wonder what happens when the gift of that kind of talent is at the helm of a house that has until now been the result of a very different gift of talent. Given the processes, systems, infrastructure at Chanel and how clear it is about who it is, such a shift from zoning in on one kind of talent to another could be really meaningful in a good way. Or not! I don’t actually know.

Back to copying your friends

Re the Marsell boots: this whole transaction is only worth talking about because it underscores where real influence still takes place: in real life, against people who bring a feeling out in you.

There’s something so special and complimentary about seeing a thing on a friend of yours and thinking/saying I want to have/do that too. Imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery and lately, it feels kind of cool to lean into exposing it when you do it. Copying your friends is a sign that you’re inspired by them, and I love the idea of christening the understanding that you’ve surrounded yourself with people who give you that jolt by expressing it through your style.

It’s cool to copy your friends!

On the topic of being inspired,